Crowded

Today I had my first official midwife appointment, complete with physical and ultrasound. During my pregnancy with Blaise, Bryan didn't come to any of my prenatal appointments. But this time around I've had a weird sense of... well, not exactly foreboding, but for some reason I was nervous about this appointment. I wanted him along for support in case anything was weird or wrong.

I haven't been too worried because my symptoms have been increasing apace (hello, daily puking!) but even so, my heart skipped a little when the midwife (Elaine, who delivered Blaise) was prepping the ultrasound equipment. She'd asked if we wanted the ultrasound and we said we absolutely did. I love seeing that little heartbeat and besides, I joked, we wanted to make sure it wasn't twins.

(A lot of people say that, apparently. She laughed, and not in a shocked way, when I said it.)

But then Elaine got the ultrasound going, and zoomed in, and stopped. And made a little choking noise. Then my heart REALLY jumped, because even though I'm good at reading ultrasounds after two pregnancies, it did look like something weird was happening on the screen. It looked kinda like... the baby had broken in half? Could that be right?

Uh, no. The baby is just fine, except that there is two of him.

Or her. Or him and her.

TWINS, you guys.

I am... honestly, in complete shock. I think it's going to take me a while to process this. Of course I'm thrilled about both my babies, and I love them already, and am praying hard for their safety. But I've never been a person who wanted twins. In fact, my sister and I have always had a semi-joke (and it wasn't really a joke) that we prayed God would send us all of our babies one at a time. I'm not a newborn person. During those first months caring for ONE baby feels like a huge task to me. I have no idea how we're going to care for TWO.

I'm trying to think long-term. As I said to Bryan when I was still in a semi-hysterical state, in five years we'll look back and say, "Remember when we found out about the twins? And now they're four and a half!" It's calming to know that day will come, but there's a LOT to get through before then.

It was funny - this morning, when my physical was over but before the midwife did the ultrasound, she asked if I had any questions about the pregnancy. I was all, "Oh, I've got this covered. Been there, done that." But once we'd discovered the twins, while I was trying to get my shaking body to hold still so she could take measurements (babies were at 7w5d and 7w6d), questions kept popping into my head. Once I got to sit up again, I fired them at her so fast she looked kind of stunned.

(Well, I mean, I was asking about VBACs. You know, with my fourth pregnancy if I have to have a c-section with this third one. I can't help it - I think ahead!)

For me, the biggest downside of a twin pregnancy is that it's automatically considered high-risk and I can't be under the care of a midwife. (Crunchy birth people - do you know if this is standard, or is it practice-specific?) I have to switch to one of the doctors in the practice. I am big-time opposed to unnecessarily medicalized pregnancy and birth, which is why I go to midwives in the first place. I'm worried about having to push back harder with a doctor.

On the other hand, I don't know much about twin pregnancies, and I'm guessing there are real inherent risks that might make more intervention necessary. I'm also concerned about pre-term labor, because I was having tons of contractions with Blaise by about 31 or 32 weeks, enough that I had to put myself on modified bed rest to meet the midwife-specified requirement of no more than four contractions an hour. I'm pretty sure I have an irritable uterus - that surely cannot be an advantage when one is pregnant with twins, huh?

We're gonna be praying really hard that the babies stay in until full-term and that they position themselves so that I can deliver them naturally if at all possible. I'll also be watching closely for signs of pre-term labor and working hard to embrace the (true) fact that a necessary c-section would not be the end of the world.

There are lots of other crazy things to think about, like how I'm gonna have to work harder than ever to eat enough to gain weight this pregnancy (last time's 16lb-gain is not gonna cut it with twins), and how we are gonna have to buy lots of things like a double stroller and for sure a van, and how caring for two newborns is gonna be OUT OF CONTROL (can you tell I'm obsessing about that, a little?) and how for once I am actually grateful for my crazy milk oversupply because I think there's good reason to hope that nursing twins should be manageable for me.

And on and on and on. But first, I need a nap.

TWO babies. Crazy.

 

Comments

[Annika]

OMG. (Sorry, that's all my brain is saying. OMG OMG.)

[HereWeGoAJen]

Wow! That's amazing news! So congratulations and congratulations!

[Jennifer]

AWESOME!!!!! Deo Gratias. You'll be fine--it will all be fine! (Just take a moment to appreciate the irony as well as the truth in, be careful what you pray for!)

[Jen]

That little bit of eye we can see in the picture seems to be saying "help .... meeeee...." Wow. I mean, congrats, and yay for everything looking good so far, but yeah. Wow.

[OurLittleAshley]

Like I said, HOLY CRAP OMG WOW.

I also joke that I never want twins (my dad is a twin. Number 11 out of 14 AND A TWIN.), so I can't even imagine how you're feeling. Eeep!

You want a big family, right?

I know lots of twin mamas end up with c-sections (which seems unfair, since it's harder to recover AND you'll have two babies!), but don't get ahead of yourself! You still have many more months before you'll know their position. And you can always beg another sister to come live with you, right? ;)

[Lisa]

I always wondered how you managed with your non-sleeping babies. I have never heard of anyone who had babies with as much sleep trouble as you. But maybe they were preparing you for TWINS! Wow. What a blessing and a challenge all at once. Many prayers floating your way!

[Jamie]

Oh, WOW! No wonder you're feeling so crummy! Take good care of yourself. I'll be praying for you!

[Petroni]

I still can't believe it! I mean TECHNICALLY I believe it, because it's obviously true, but I can't believe it. I am simultaneously freaking out for you and thrilled for you.

[A'Dell]

AAAA! AAAA! AAAAA!!!!

This is SO EXCITING!!!

[Tara]

Oh my... WOWOWOWOW!!! Arwen-- that is so exciting/amazing/crazy!!! I remember reading your blog before you became pregnant with Camilla and now, well... no words. So exciting-- I hope everything continues to progress beautifully. Congratulations!!

[Manda]

ARWEN!! OH MY STAAAARS! I'm already tired for you ... And I only have the one newborn!! Yikes!! Exciting!! Scary!! :)

[Annie]

NO WAYYYYYY! oh Arwen, congratulations! Wow this is HUGE! (now I can't keep telling you how great 3 is because you're passing me up in one fell swoop!) Praised be Jesus, Arwen. Praised be Jesus!

[kiera]

Double congrats! Though I too would be freaking out, I think God knows what he is doing by giving you a double blessing at once. You have an amazing family who I am sure will no doubt step in to help you all where needed. We will keep praying for you over here.

[Hallie Lord]

Oh my goodness!!! Congratulations! That is so exciting! I'll just have to double up my prayers for you guys! ;)

[nicole]

Congratulations! And I can only imagine what you must be feeling and thinking. People always ask how we do it (I have six kids) and I always say "one at a time." I would be knocked out if we had twins in the future. Prayers that all goes well.

[Claire]

Oh my gosh Arwen! Congratulations! At this point does the ultrasound make it clear whether they are identical vs fraternal? This certainly explains all the nausea you've been having! A twin pregnancy is definitely higher risk than a singleton, but I don't see why you couldn't keep seeing the midwives for your prenatal visits as long as the doctor is accessible to consult with (likely the doctor would have to be present for the birth). I totally relate to your ambivalence about twins. There are people in the world who dream about having twins, and I was never one of them. I personally like babies one at a time. But, God knows what he's doing, and it is a huge blessing.

[Anna]

Wow! I know you're stressed about it, but you're right, eventually it will be awesome! And they can keep each other entertained lots, right? Hey, maybe they'll be extra-good sleepers since they'll be used to sleeping together!
I do have a physician friend who attended at a vaginal birth of twins (she did the catching), so it's not unheard of, but she said the delivery room was rather crowded since it's rare and lots of people wanted to see how things went. (That was in St. Louis; she now practices at Pope Paul VI Institute, if you wanted to get in touch to see how natural delivery might work for you. Kristina Garnett is her name.)
Lastly, weight gain while pg has not been a problem for me - 50 lbs w/both kids, all of which I lost w/in a year - but I did go through phases where I put a lot of half-and-half on my cereal. Pathetic, I know, but I was SO hungry! You could give that a try... ;-)

[Stephanie]

Wow! Congratulations and best wishes for a healthy and long pregnancy with your two little ones! I guess your intuition was right that there was something different about this pregnancy!

[Jessica]

Wow. Just wow. I'm imagining what I would do if I found out my pregnancy was twins and its actually making me cry with its overwhelmingness. Take a LONG nap. Lots of naps. Wow. Two babies! I'll be praying!!

[Adrien]

you have taken words right out of my mouth!! I am so grateful for your post - it has eased my mind a little. we found twins on our ultrasound - I am 14 weeks & we already have four kids.

[Dorian Speed]

WOW! Congratulations! I know that many cities have Moms of Multiples chapters and stuff like that. I hope you can find some great, supportive resources in your area.

Praying for you and those sweet little babies!

[Natalie]

Oh, congrats!!! And sending good vibes for a healthy pregnancy and easy time for you. As you said, it won't be without challenges, but it's so easy to tell that you and Bryan are fabulous parents. You can do it!

[Tracy]

You know... last night, when I read you couldn't even handle sugar and the thought popped into my head that you're having twins, and then I come read today and um, you're having twins, and wow.

You can do this! And, wow again.

Congratulations!

[MichelleRenee]

Wow! Congratulations!
Wow! OMG.
You will be GREAT.
Sending good vibes from NH.

[Jen W.]

Wow, that is INSANE! Congratulations on two thriving babies! I *think* that the "no twins with midwives" thing is pretty much across the board, but I'm not sure. You could always go to The Farm in Tennessee, I'm pretty sure they deliver twins! ;-) I used to think twins would be fun when I was younger, but once I went through childbirth and breastfeeding, and I realized how much more difficult an intervention-free vaginal delivery and exclusive breastfeeding might be with a twin pregnancy, I changed my mind! If anyone can do, though, you can!

[Jennifer (Conversion Diary)]

First of all: WOW. Second of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!

I'm short on time to type, but I wanted to pop in and say that I have experience with having to switch from midwives to doctors because of becoming high-risk in mid-pregnancy (I was diagnosed with a DVT and a blood clotting disorder when I was 7 months pregnant with baby #2). I have a lot of thoughts on how to make the transition smoothly -- feel free to email me if you want to hear about what worked/didn't work for us.

Congratulations again!!

[Megen Zelinka]

Hi Arwen! Came across your post on FB, CONGRATULATIONS! My twins are almost 2 and a half now, but your post reminded me of my own shock, LOL. Do they run in your fam? (I have twin sisters who are now 12--it DOESN'T skip a generation ;).) We had a natural birth (in the sense of no C-section, but I was required to have an epidural in case they had to do an emerg C-section), and it went great ... it is definitely possible and I would encourage you to go for it if it's looking good towards the end of the pregnancy. I am with midwives for my second pregnancy and love the experience ... while they said they wouldn't have taken me for my twin pregnancy (because I had Lyme disease at the time), they do take twins, or sometimes will collaborate with a doctor in twin pregnancies. My contact info is below if you'd like to chat, and in the meantime, good luck! Twins are fantastic, and you will never go anywhere again (especially when they're under a year old) without getting stopped for all the classic twin comments--at least 20 times. (Our record was 45 times in a 2 hour mall excursion *shudder*.) Good luck, and congrats--twins are really one of the best blessings God can give!

[Celeste]

DOUBLE BLESSINGS!!!! How incredibly wonderful for you, and how thrilling that you took your husband with you that day. That's a wonderful moment you'll always have. The fact that they are a day apart in size makes me think they each have their own egg (fraternal), so who knows, you could have one of each in there. How cool--everybody would have a brother, and everybody would have a sister.

My mom's third pregnancy was twins, B/G. My sister and I were just 4 and 3 when they arrived. My mom's sanity savers were to teach us to fetch things for her when changing the babies, etc., and to feed the noisier one first and give the quieter one some extra time. This was with bottle feeding, but I'm sure Swistle can give you advice on tandem nursing newborns.

I've known lots of ladies who bucked the c/s trend with delivering twins. Your health and their positioning is everything.

I think you should get to have a twin shower; it's very common when you'll need some big-ticket extras like another infant car seat. The double stroller will be key, but at least it doesn't mean adding another crib since you co-sleep. But you will surely need extra cloth diapers and maybe clothing if you have doubles of the same sex....okay, I'm rambling now.

I'm so happy for your family!!!!

[Erica]

WOW!!! Just wow!

[SaraB]

I know that the independent birth center in the Lansing area does not accept twin pregnancies and 'boots' women out as soon as twins are discovered. So that may be a common standard for midwives (or MI midwives). I know of one twin mom here who found an OB who is supportive to trying vaginal deliveries for twins and she delivered in the OR, but didn't end up needing a c-section. So maybe ask around if there are other practices that are more supportive if the docs in your practice don't feel right. Good luck!

[andreajennine]

Eek! How exciting! When I thought we might be expecting multiples, a friend with twins recommended this book as "pretty comprehensive, with a strong focus on nutrition and carrying as far to term as possible": When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads by Dr. Barbara Luke.

[Joy]

Congratulations ~ twice over!!

[Elizabeth]

HOLY HOLY HOLY COW LADY! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congrats!
Woo hooooooo!
Oh, I am so excited.

[VHMPrincess]

Wow. And Awesome. WOW!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[Swistle]

Oh, it is so funny: my twins are 5, and it was WITHIN THE LAST THREE DAYS that I said to Paul, "Remember when we found out they were twins? And now they're FIVE!" We said that very thing! ...Of course, we say it about once a week, but STILL! UNCANNY!

Another thing we (and my parents, and my brother and SIL) talk about all the time is how the third is the PERFECT time for twins. I was really overwhelmed by my first child, and the second child was the hardest time of all---but by the time the twins came along, I felt pretty comfortable with nursing and parenting and so forth, so it was not anywhere near as stressful as I've heard it is when people have them first or second. (Although I think it helps that beforehand I was all "AAAAAAAAAAA how will we manage AAAAAAAA" because then it was so much easier than I'd expected!)

I don't know MUCH about the high-riskness thing, but my friend who had twins got sent to a place an hour away and got ultrasounds every 2 weeks, whereas at my practice the OB was totally unconcerned and didn't even tell me I was now officially "high risk." The only thing that was different was that I got an ultrasound every 6 weeks and my appointments "condensed" (like, going every 2 weeks instead of every month, and then weekly instead of every 2 weeks) a little sooner. I asked my OB if there was anything different I should be doing, any special extra vitamins or whatever, and he said "*shrug* Nah!" I have an acquaintance who has twins, and she had hers vaginally (I had mine via c-section, but that was because of something else, not because they were twins).

I read every twin book in our library system, and the one I most recommend is When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads by Barbara Luke. She's the doctor of a beating-the-statistics successful, all-multiples pregnancy clinic, as I remember. I liked how the book was a nice mix of "I have to tell you the odds" and "Here are some practical things you can do."

The minivan was by FAR my biggest freak-out when I found out about the twins! But we got a used Toyota Sienna and I love it.

For a double stroller, you'll have to go to a store and try some out, because there isn't a single one that doesn't have SOME advantages and SOME disadvantages---but my own favorite was the Graco Duoglider. I found that the side-by-side styles made me feel way more aisle-hoggy, but for me the main issue was that the twins' car seats snapped into it when they were babies, but then they could still use the same stroller as a non-car-seat-holding stroller when they were older. AND, if you might have another baby later on, it's nice to be able to snap one car seat in and use the other seat as a regular stroller seat, as I did when Henry was a baby: I'd have one walking twin and one riding twin.

Okay, enough, I will stop before I write you my own twin book! But YES, it will be fine! And may I recommend tandem nursing and a tandem nursing pillow? I swear it saved my life.

[Brooke]

I think it is pretty standard to be booted from the midwives. I'm sorry that's happened to you, since I know you really fit well with the practice. If you were closer, I know some people in A^2 who have very low intervention OBs.

I think that a lot of the concern about twins will be lessened for you since this is not your first pregnancy.

And I guess you really will need that van, huh?

[Patti]

I'm a long-time reader (lurker, I guess) of your blog, back from when Camilla was a babe. Anyway, when I read the title of your post, I wondered if you were having twins. I guess I was right. Congratulations for the extra blessings. I will be praying for a healthy pregnancy, a complication-free delivery, and for God's grace and peace as you and Bryan experience the challenges and joys ahead! I second the idea of finding the closest Mothers of Multiples club. They also tend to have GREAT consignment sales a few times a year. A good place to buy a double stroller for less than retail price!

[Tammy]

God is great! Congrats to your and yours!

[Slim]

Congratulations!

I recommend traveling the country and letting fans of your blog hold your babies.

[Lauren]

Congratulations, Arwen and family! You are now the second friend I know pregnant with twins right now. Definitely do research on natural, vaginal birth with twins--it's a practice-by-practice choice not to do twins, (although it may have something to do with how friendly the Michigan laws are towards midwives, of which I have no idea) so I definitely hope that you can find someone you like to support your pregnancy and birth choices! Here is a link from one of my favorite "cruchy" parenting/birth blogs: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/natural-birth-of-twins-triplets.html I hope you find it an inspiring video, and that there are useful things you can find by clicking around.

God bless!!!

[Lucy]

Holy Smokes! Congrats! So exciting and scary and everything all at once. My husband has always dreamed of twins, and while I think they would be fun, I can't imagine the actual work.

also an anecdote: I had a friend who delivered twins naturally, with a doctor.

[CMerie]

Yay! And Wow! And Yay again! I would be shocked if I was pregnant with twins as well, but remember that God will give you all the graces you need to be able to do it.

As for the doctor stuff, I don't know much about twins, but I do know about C-sections and VBACs. My first was a C-section, and second was a very successful, non-medicated VBAC, this current pregnancy is on track for another VBAC. If you do have to go the doctor route, look carefully. There really are good doctors out there, but you will have to do your homework. Maybe your midwife can give you some recommendations. Ours practices more like a midwife than a doctor, but she is a doctor, and because of my C-section, once I got to the hospital, I had to be monitored the whole time and she had to be there and so did an aneste...(the drug doctor, I'm not going to try to spell it). So she counseled me to stay at home and labor for as long as possible and surrounded me with nurses that themselves had had unmedicated births or VBACs (again, I don't know about twins, and I don't know how possible staying home will be for you). We also hired a doula that I could not have done without, and she helped navigate us through all the medical mumbo-jumbo and pushed with us to have the birth we wanted. We've already hired her back for this current pregnancy. If I could give you any advice at all, it would be to hire a doula that is knowledgeable about twins. Most insurances don't pay for them, but it's pretty reasonable, and totally worth it.

You'll be in my prayers, and I'm so excited for you!

[Aimee]

First, CONGRATULATIONS! I've followed along with your family over at Faith and Family Live, so I'm so excited for you!

As far as having to leave your midwife and switch to a doctor in your practice, have you ever thought about using a Family Medicine doctor? It may be hard to find one who delivers babies since the malpractice insurance alone is usually enough to dissuade family docs from any kind of OB. But, if you can find one, it has been my experience that they are much more like midwives than not. Of course, it depends on the doc, but they usually have a more hands-off, let-your-body-do-its-thing, if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it kind of approach to pregnancy and childbirth.

Don't let anyone tell you that family docs aren't trained enough - those that deliver have had extra training, although not all of them will do c-sections should you need one. They can manage complications in pregnancies such as multiples, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. Plus, since they are trained to take care of the whole family, they can take of your baby after birth, too!

My husband is a family doc, so of course I am slightly biased ;), but all my babies have been delivered by a family doc (and I have had complications during pregnancy). Just something to consider if you really don't find a doc in your practice that you gel with.

Congrats again, and God bless you!!!

[Miriel]

Hahahaha! Slim's comment is my favorite.

I'm so excited!

(and p.s. I already said my DMC for the twins and you today!!)

[Lizzie]

Oh my holy cow! That is so CRAZY! And AWESOME! And holy cow, congratulations!

[Elsha]

OH ARWEN! Congratulations!! That is so exciting! And even though you're not a fan of the newborn phase, think of it this way- you get TWO babies and you only have to go through ONE sucky newborn phase!

I hope you don't have to have a C-section, but if you do, remember that VBACs are WAY easier to do if you've already had a successful vaginal delivery. Or two:)

I'll be praying for you and those babies. AHHH!! BABIES!

[Sarah in Ottawa]

Aieee! I have been offline all day and Dave just called to say "Guess what's going on with Arwen?!?"

I am so, so very excited for you guys, and my prayers to St. Gerard will double on behalf of the two little Moshers!

Most of my friend use midwives, and my friend Sarah who had twins just after Teddy and Blaise had 'shared care' - OB and midwife. That way, the midwife could do all her postpartum care. She ended up having a c-section (both were breech at 36 weeks) but her recovery was fine and she is still nursing both at 19 months.

Twins! Oh - so exciting! HOORAY!!

[Holly]

Just think of the efficiency, Arwen! Two babies, at one time!

hahahaha...OMGIWOULDBEFREAKINGOUTTOO!

You will be fantastic though! I'm so excited for you and your family.

[parodie]

Congratulations! Very exciting.
Just like you twins will be individuals, each twin pregnancy is different... My sister-in-law had twins (vaginal birth) and her friend who also had twins rode her bike to the hospital to give birth. They both live in Amsterdam, so habits are different there, but it's certainly possible.

And few things are as cute as twin toddlers speaking their own invented language to each other. Twins are a wonderful blessing - congratulations!

[Celeste]

Parodie is quite right--twins do have a special bond and sometimes have their own language (my sibs did). But one really cool thing is that the Littles have a built-in playmate who loves to do the same things developmentally, which is a pretty cool boon for the Bigs at times.

I've followed you from early days, and I love that your childlessness ended in plenty, and particularly so on the eve of Thanksgiving. It's just so perfect, and this post has made my week.

[Home Sweet Sarah]

Congratulations! Twins are a blessing! A lot of work, I am sure, but a blessing.

[Emily]

Congratulations! I read your blog now and then (not very good at always keeping up with blogs) and love it. I'm seeing a midwife too (I'm due in March) and there are many midwives that do twin pregnancy's so I would say it's practice specific and I don't blame you for being worried about seeing an OB, they can for sure be more medically minded. So if you still want to see a midwife ask around where you live would be my recommendation. Also, when I read this post it made me think of this other one I read earlier and you might like it: http://trulyblessedlife.wordpress.com/2010/11/14/you-cant-birth-breech-twins-vaginally-wanna-make-a-bet/
Big Huge Congratulations!!!

[Karyn]

Wow! Congratulations! You will be a wonderful mama to twins.

[Rebecca]

Hi Arwen,
I am a long time lurker and wanted to congratulate you on your twins. I cried in the Dr.'s office when I found out I was having twins (to be fair, at first the u.s. tech said she thought she saw triplets and that was way too overwhelming).
Anyhow, I just wanted to pass on to you what my Dr. told me. He felt that there was no reason for me to expect a C-section (I had previously delivered vaginally), provided both twins turned... which they did. I am also hoping you find this encouraging- my boys slept much better than my first baby ever did, in fact, they are still much better sleepers at 19 months than their nearly 4 year old sister.

[alison]

the good Lord really did give you those childless years to prepare for something awesome! you will make it through this with Him as well.

[Kate Wicker@ Momopoly]

I have no experience on twins, but I wanted to chime in on the double the blessing sentiments. However, I'd have much of the same reaction as you and would already be looking ahead to my next labor. I'm anal like that.

I will say with my first I was considered high risk, not because of twins but other potential complications. I had to see a doctor, but I asked to still be under midwifery care. This was at a super strict academic medical center and they agreed. We had to fight a bit more for things, but I ended up having the natural birth experience I desired. The midwife was there for delivery; a doctor just had to check in on me, too. Hope this helps!

I'll be praying for you and your TWO little nuggets! Blessings.

[Pippi]

Wow!! Congratulations! I can't believe how many people I know (IRL and online) who have twins for their 3rd pregnancy. It's my secret fear and hope. You will be a fantastic twin mama!

And I'm with Slim -- if you make a trip out to Vancouver on Mosher family twin tour I'll definitely help hold the babies :)

[Karen]

woo hooo!!

twinsies!!!

[MelanieB]

Arwen, I know I'd be freaked out too. But God will take care of you. You know he will give you enough grace to get through everything he gives you. You've got a lot of friends praying for you. You are in my prayers every day.

[Dr. Maureen]

ARWEN AND BRYAN ET AL! This is so exciting! I am so thrilled for you guys, but also empathetically freaking out because AUGHGHGHGHGH! I told Andrew, and we are both floored, so I can't IMAGINE how you guys feel. I, personally, would probably be weeping. And not exactly from pure joy. Just saying. But you're so right, it will be wonderful. The wonderfulness will outweigh the not-so-wonderfulness, even if it will not feel that way while it is happening. TWINS! TWIIINNNSSS! TWINS!

[halloweenlover]

Wow wow wow! I'm totally freaked out and thrilled for you guys! When it finally rains, I guess it pours, huh? Woohoo!

[lindsay]

Congrats Arwen. You and Bryan can totally rock this.

[Jamie]

I'm coming back to say: imagine if the Arwen who started this blog could have seen that she'd be a mom of FOUR in 2011!

[Margaret in Minnesota]

No way! Congratulations! Awesome awesome awesome!

I have always wanted twins. You'll do great and man, the stories you'll have to tell! :)

[jimaiemarie]

oh.my.gooooodnessss!!!!!!!Eeeee!!! This is so crazy and so exciting, and SO CRAZY!!! Oh gosh, what an adventure!! And what a blessing!!!! COngratulations Mama!!

[Laura]

WOW, WOW, and seriously freaking WOW!!! Congratulations! So thrilled for you, and so glad you got the news early. I have one friend that found out at the 20 wk ultrasound and another that was surprised at her home birth. She'd never had an ultrasound and the babies' heartbeats must have been in sync whenever her midwife listened. I'll say lots of prayers for you and the babies!

[Charlotte]

Wow! What news, what shocking news!! Congrats and prayers for health all around!

[ABDMama]

Congrats, Arwen! My husband always says it would be nice to have twins, but I've always been like you and asked for one at a time. Still, I know you will be a fantastic mother for twins and that early stage will end sooner than you think. I think it will be fun to see two different people experience new things in totally unique ways. :)

[Erin]

I found you through OurLittleAshley's twitter account.

Congratulations on your twins! As a recent survivor of a twin pregnancy, I'd be happy to answer any questions that you have. :) My girls are 9 weeks old now, and while it certainly is crazy, it's also very doable.

[Ellen]

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!!!! I'm SO thrilled for you all, and yet can also understand how it's rather overwhelming news.

I know others have said it in the comments, but as someone who has read your blog almost from its beginning, I am so amazed at how God has answered your prayers for a family. I am thanking Him for His goodness to your family!

I do think that having twins makes you a legitimately high-risk pregnancy, and I'm sorry that you now have that added to your plate on top of being so miserably sick! There are a lot of reasons you and the babies will need to be monitored closely, esp. since you have a history of preterm contractions. I'll be praying with you that the babies go to term and that you can have a natural delivery. Both my cousin and my aunt had twins vaginally, and I certainly see it at work. Don't resign yourself to a C-section just yet! :)

I know you and Bryan will be GREAT parents to twins! I can't wait to follow your pregnancy and their arrival. Is Camilla thrilled about two babies??

[ccr in MA]

Ohhhh! Congratulations! Of course it's totally overwhelming and all, but wow, neat!

I wish that I lived near you, because I love the baby stage (and am not so good with older kids). I would totally come over all the time and just hang out holding a baby. Um, I mean if we knew each other IRL. My friend had twins three years ago and I got lots of baby cuddles. Love babies!

Have a good nap. Many good naps.

[melissa]

Congratulations! What a blessing. A friend of mine is from a family of 8 kids - twins, single, twins, single, twins - all withig 7 years. My friend was one of the singles, and was always a bit jealous of the twins because they had such a special bond. Many blessings and prayers for a healthy pregnancy.

[Laurie]

Congratulations! Oh my! I don't know if I've ever commented on here but I want to tell you a really, really wonderful twins story to make you feel good. It's about my SIL. She had a four-year-old (who was downright crazy until he started preschool this year I might add), a two-year-old & then just had twins at the end of April. She naturally went into labor at 38 weeks (she was fighting with the doctor over being induced, though they often argue that there is increased risk for stillbirth after 38 wks with twins- it's valid) & she delivered both vaginally. 6lbs 5 oz & 7 lbs 1 oz. Crazy, huh? The 2nd guy was breech & the doctor pulled him out by his feet, but she only had a 2nd degree tear (4th with her first) & she describes this as her "best delivery." Both were exclusively breastfed the first six months & super healthy & much less needy than the other two when they were babies.

I just wanted to tell you a happy twin story because all I ever hear are the horror stories! She is an extremely unorganized person & I have to say that she is handling four small children marvelously! So I'm just here to tell you that you can do it! Well, even!

[RebeccaL]

Congratulations! God is so good!! I'm sure He will give you the strength to handle twins!

[ksmaybe]

That is crazy, great news!!! You guys will figure it all out by the time those twins arrive :)

[Michelle]

Congratulations from another long-time lurker. I rarely comment but had to share a natural twin delivery story. My little *cough* ok younger brothers are fraternal twins. My mom delivered both vaginally and had no idea she was having twins until she delivered. I know can you imagine?!?! She was apparently pregnant with triplets and lost one in the first trimester. This was 1975 and before routine ultrasounds so she went into delivery with neo-natal on standby for what they thought was 1 very premature baby. Instead, she had twin boys...each weighing 5.5 lbs. LOL!

At least you can prepare yourself. :-) I'm sure you guys will do fine though

[Margaret]

Congratulations, Arwen! My best friend's mom had twin boys for babies #4 and #5 and she was able to avoid a c-section. Definitely a possibility!

[Amanda]

Congratulations!

I don't have any actual twin experience myself, but twins run in my family. My grandmother likes to tell the story of how she found out the night before the twins were born that there were two babies! Crazy. The consensus among mothers of twins seems to be that twin pregnancies are a much "better deal" - all the discomforts of pregnancy once, but for two babies in the end. I would say that about 50% of twin births in people that I know are c-sections, so there is still a good possibility that you can avoid it. Having given pretty much no thought to the possibility of a c-section with my second after having had a midwife/natural birth with my first; however, I believe that it is a good idea to to give some thought to the possibility.

I'll be praying for you.

[Hoo]

Wow! How exciting!! Congrats!!!

[Megan]

Wow! Congrats! The family I babysat for in high school had twins as #3 and #4. Also, a good friend of mine is also expecting twins, and may be exactly the same amount of weeks/days as you (or very, very close). I'm going to have to refer her to your blog! :)
The birth center where I will deliver my (most recent) addition will not let you stay on if you are expecting twins. However, they deliver in a free standing birth center and not a hospital.

[ViolinMama]

Congrats my friend, and I hear you. I've always wanted twins, but reading your posts reminds me of the reality of twins. As much of a blessing they are....(and in 4 years, yes, you'll be like...hahah, remember when we found out...?)they are work, and I have a 6 month old now...how do we survive the newborn stage with 2 when I've had my moments with 1?

Just remember to breathe, nap NOW, and know that you have all of us to support you with prayer. Twins may mean changing some of your current routines or practices to help you stay sane and rested, but changing or tweaking your parenting philosophy or style does not make you a sellout - it makes you a strong mother who can listen to her body, mind, God, and children. We grow and change in faith...so do our vocations. God has blessed with you with Twins because he knows you are the best person for the job. He also knows you are not perfect...and will grow in loving Him with these two babies.

Rest now...eat now...and yes, freak out now and freak out even when they are here. Never keep anything inside. Rejoice!! God loves when we need to lean on Him, and I know He'll be super excited for all the prayers you'll be sending His way :)

Our middle daughter was a fraternal twin (the twin did was not progressing by the 1st ultrasound when we saw Valiant for the 1st time) so I've always wonder and wished. But...it is a journey. If you can handle it...maybe one day I can too. I remember shaking those 3 mins of them looking at the twins and thinking...how? HOW? HOW??!!!! and Wow....

Much love...many prayers. We're rejoicing here for you! NAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lisa]

Wow, I'm so happy for you! Congrats!

[rosie_kate]

Wow! What a shock!

I'm sure you're getting lots of comments about this, and I haven't read them all, but I will tell you that you don't necessarily have to have a medicalized birth. My midwife does twins (even breech) at home with great success. In fact, I think I only live a couple hours away from you, though it's still farther than my midwife goes, of course. I'm just saying-- research your options well.

Just remember that you were made to do this! You body can grow and birth these babies, and you can mother them, too. (But... I don't envy you.)

[Robyn]

Wow! Huge congrats to you all!

[Michelle]

Twins! Welcome to the club. My oldest are twins (identical girls born at 34 weeks) who will be 9 in March. I definitely recommend the Dr. Luke book. Very informative. And a mom of multiples group. You'll need som BTDT moms to talk to about all the twin specific stuff. Feel free to shoot me an email if you'd like. After having my twins, I went on to have 2 singletons, so it can't be all that scary!

[PamL]

I had twins(fraternal boy/girl) 7 years ago and I delivered them at 35 weeks (my water broke) naturally. I had never had an epidural, so I didn't want one, and they were both head down so it worked out! It was actually a little easier than my other births because they were smaller than my full term singletons. It is possible, but it depends on the babies! Congrats!

[Rosemary]

Congratulations, Arwen and Bryan!!!

Listen, you'll do just fine; you'll be a great twin mom. I've been reading since the infertile days. . . then the days of the maybe I'll have just one post. I know the irony isn't lost on you, but now it appears that you suddenly have a brood! It'll be hard for a while, then it will get easier. You'll have all your sweeties and they will all have each other too.

This may sound too understated, but this is what came to my mind: Arwen will be just fine. :)

[Monica]

Congratulations Arwen! My husband and I are praying for you and your growing family!

[Rach]

Oh, Arwen...Oh, Arwen...is this kind of like when Sarah laughed when God told her she would have a child?

Is this the same blog from 5 years ago?

four children 4 and under?!

I can't help it...i'm laughing aloud...

yes, it will be hard...but...

GOD IS SO GOOD!

-Rach

(yes, just a bit excited to watch this all unfold!)

[Andrea]

Oh.My.Goodness. Count us in for many meals and me showing up on your doorstep at fussy time to rock a crying baby. :)

I hope we can get together soon! I'll be praying a lot!

Also, I have a really good friend who had twins in April and she had a successful vaginal delivery for both about two weeks prior to due date. She also breastfed both exclusively for at least four months, if not up until now (nearly 7 months). I bet I can put you in touch with her if you want. She might have some good insight.

Wow! I just can't get over it...

[Amanda]

Congratulations! I'm sure this is very scary for you right now. The newborn phase can definitely be overwhelming, but it won't last forever.

I am by no means a "crunchy" person, but I'm pretty sure the no-midwife thing is practice specific. I saw a midwife for almost every one of my appointments with my boys. I don't know who I would have seen if I'd had a vaginal delivery, but with two breech babies I didn't have a choice about a c-section.

Wishing you a super easy and healthy and uncomplicated full-term pregnancy!!

[-K]

I'm currently 21 weeks preggo with fraternal twins and it is common practice since all multiple pregnancies are considered high risk that you can't see a mid-wife any more. My midwife isn't allowed to even measure me or anything and my office now will no longer do ultrasounds on me and instead send me to an MFM for those. It's crazy fun... welcome!

[Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)]

Over from LFCA-- I had (fraternal) twin boys this summer, carried to 38 weeks (when we had a scheduled c-section-- my OB felt safer delivering at 38 weeks b/c of literature showing some deterioration of the placenta in twin pregnancies after 38 weeks, but he would have let me go longer if I had really wanted it.). I feel strongly that my (completely routine) pregnancy was so successful because I followed very carefully Dr. Barbara Luke's book, When You're Expecting Twins Triplets or Quads. There's great information in there, but in the event that you don't get the book (or don't have the time to read it!), it can be summed up as: EAT, EAT, EAT! And rest, as necessary. And believe your caregivers when they tell you to take it easy.

I think if you go into an obstetric doctor search with an open mind, you are likely to find someone who will suit your particular desires for a birth. My first OB and I did not see eye to eye-- she lectured me about finding a pediatrician NOW, but got angry with me and told me I was getting ahead of myself when I raised concerns about whether I would deliver vaginally or not (told me that c-sections were illegal in our state, except in cases of grave emergency, which is not true, but had me really freaked out that she would force me to attempt a breech vaginal delivery, which I was not comfortable with...). She also presumed that I would be delivering WAY early, and wouldn't even discuss with me the fact that I believed with all my heart that I would go to term. We just didn't see eye to eye at all. And after searching, I found a practice I liked, but ended up with a doctor I wasn't sure about. I went in to that first appointment with an open mind, and I was rewarded with an amazing experience.

[Baby Smiling in Back Seat]

Here from LFCA...

Congrats! We also absolutely didn't want twins, but now that we have them we are so glad; it is really amazing. Yes, twin pregnancy can be much riskier, and you do need to try to gain as much as weight as possible. Yes, the newborn days are insane. But it is so very special and wonderful.

My OB practice has the patients rotate among all the providers, so I actually ended up seeing midwives more often than OBs, but I also was under the care of a MFM at another practice. I wonder if you could officially be under an OB's care but still see your same midwife sometimes?

Good luck!!

[Maren]

Whoa! Congratulations. http://julia.typepad.com had a twin pregnancy, and while there were definitely some ups and downs in the form of bed rest, she's such a neat resource for twins and cute little twin pictures, just like the ones you'll have someday! http://snickollet.blogspot.com/ also has twins, and had a much less dramatic pregnancy.

[Catie Haselbarth]

CONGRATULATIONS, Arwen!!! I can't believe it, twins! Looks like God is making up for some lost time in the beginning. :) Just kidding! I know someone at the law school had delivered twins vaginally at the Caritas center prob 4.5 years ago. Don't know if that's something you'd be interested in, but thought I'd mention it...

All the best to you and Bryan! You have our prayers!!

Catie

[Erika]

I too have been reading since the infertile days. I remember when the ray of light fell on you in Mass... God has truly blessed you. You have a wonderful family that will help, and like the above commenter said... you just do things "one at a time!" That's all you can do, right?

I have had three C-sections, and quite honestly although I have never given birth vaginally I really like c-sections... I was up and about really fast (the trick is to walk, walk, walk in the hospital while you still have painkillers, for some reason it makes you heal faster) I was still in college with #1 and I was hauling laundry and back in class after one week. So I know that you want to deliver naturally, but even if you can't, don't automatically assume that the C-section will have you down and out for a long time. I do heal quickly, and am young (was 22 with the first one) but even the most recent surgery (which was the most difficult) only took me a couple of weeks to be recovered enough to be functional. Just like vaginal births, each person is different, and since you pay such close attention to your body and take care of yourself I think you will do fine.

So, so many congratulations to you and yours, and I will add you to my prayer list. It's good to know that there are children coming into such a loving, faithful family. I hope you have boys just so that you can raise them to be just like Brian.

Finally, on the van thing... I have a 2007 Saturn Relay, bought used for about $10K and I absolutely love it. I thought I would feel so super dowdy, but you know what, it's so convenient I DON'T CARE. :) Take care Arwen and eat well. Much love!

[Justine]

Congrats! I can only imagine how nervous you feel right now ... but it's amazing what we're able to do when we are faced with a challenge, particularly when it's our own flesh and blood. Take good care of yourself!

[Minna]

Wait! Didn't this used to be an *infertility* blog? ;)

God has such a sense of humor.

Advise re: twins:
Forget the double stroller for a while. If you have to, forget the mini-van and if there is any way at all you can possibly afford it HIRE HELP.

Remember Alice from the Brady Bunch? You want her.

Allow yourself to focus only on mothering your children (babies and olders)for the first 4-6 months and hire someone else to do the cleaning and the laundry and the cooking and the errands. Have no expectations for yourself other than basic hygiene and nutrition (and whatever else keeps you sane - a little novel reading, maybe?), nursing your babies and loving up Camilla, Blaise and your DH.

May God bless you and your two little belly beans!

[Amy]

Just had to say congrats. I'm a longtime lurker...and have dreamed of having twins someday. I look forward to following your journey!