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Thursday, March 25, 2010

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I love this post in light of her expression in the picture of the three of you up top.

Re: "I could care less"... I always notice that, too!

I think 4 is a bit temperamental, also. Five is a fabulous year!

well, in my life, one step forward, two steps back is a reality with R. All too often that's the way it is, we make progress and then go back back back... and have to start again. But I know that I'm saying it that way sometimes for that reason... usually it should be two steps forward, one step back!

And three is the hardest age. At least in my opinion. It's also a fun age.

Though 13 yo daughter is proving to be also a very hard age, but it has not passed three in the rankings yet.

2.5 was the hardest with son #1. Son #2 has been more of a toss-up. I definitely think 2 and 3 are harder than the first 24 months, though. It's the whining and ignoring that gets to me. I find 18 month old antics hilarious and have a much easier time finding the patience to deal with that silliness. We're sitting at just-turned-4 and just-turned-6 and I brought my 6 year old bowling the other day by himself. It was so easy. Wow. And 5 was like that too. Yeah, he's impossible to get going in the morning and tunes us out sometimes, but when it comes down to it, he knows when he needs to listen and his younger brother isn't quite there yet. I thought my first was the bouncy, wiggly one but #2 has shown him up so far.

Now I wait until August to see what sort of baby #3 will be. I'm hoping for a change of pace and getting a cuddler.

Although, I can sit on the couch for half an hour and all three of us sit reading our books and just about burst with happiness that I have a family of readers. It's the only thing that always calms them down.

Used to be "three steps forward, two steps back."

I've definitely said "one step forward, two steps back" when I want to convey that I'm trying to make progress but mostly going backwards! Not fun.

Anyway, I just got through age 3 with my daughter (she turned 4 last week) and boy am I glad we both survived. Not that 4 is so different, yet, but it's the mental victory for me that I made it through age 3. It's a challenging age but doing the work with them at that age is so important, as you know. Devoting all that parenting energy now is worth it down the road; that's what I've found with my older boys, anyway.

Also, re: being kind and generous, my daughter LOVES a book called "Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids" by Carol McCloud. It's pretty cheesy but gets across the idea of filling others up with good feelings by giving them love and kindness. Maybe Camilla would enjoy it too!

I've always thought "one step forward, two steps back" was the correct way to say it, as in "you think you're getting somewhere, then you end up worse off than when you started"

The fact that you think that people are trying to convey slow progress tells me that you are having as good an experience with a three-year-old as is possible, because for us, it was definitely, "He's stopped doing the bad thing . . . because he's substituted something worse."

Four is so, SO much better. I mean, it still has its stinky moments (hey, *I* still have my stinky moments), but I usually look back and see where they came from. All that consistency parents work on at 3 creates, IME, a 4YO who loves rules, which is great unless Mommy tries a shortcut. Also, even though he can't always follow the rules, he knows what they are, and he tries, leading to the immortal words, "I'm trying to stop whining, but I caaaaan't!" Yeah, me too, bunny.

I uses choices quite a bit around here and, although my daughter is not quite two, it seems to work pretty well. I hope it continues to work when she's 3!

We have four children, and I have always noticed the age 4 to be a nice tipping point. That being said, we are praying mightily for number 4 to get from three, to that hopefully smoother age!

I tell the older boys, "No, Matthew is not kind or generous. He does hit...etc. because he is a baby and he has not learned those things yet. He will learn them from you. If you share with him, then he will learn to share. If you hit him, he will learn to hit"
He is 16 months and just started saying "gentle" which he what we tell him when he tries to pet the cat or what we tell him when he hits his brother, "NO Matthew. Gentle!" He walked up to his brother a few days ago and started patting Tom's hair saying "GENT-LE!" and Tom said, "It's working! He's learning! I'm teaching him!"

As the oldest of three, I can definitely relate to Camilla! Finally now that I'm in my 30s and my youngest sibling is 25, my mother doesn't intervene in our arguments and say, "But you're supposed to be setting a good example." It got particularly bad when my brother was a teenager and would give me a "dead-arm" by punching me in the shoulder and I wasn't allowed to smack him back! ;)

I always found age 2 1/2 and 3 kinda tough too, but when exactly all depends on the child and his/her temperament.

I have a 4 year old who dashes off all over the place and can't just stay with me. I am really looking forward to him settling down so I can peacefully do errands. He's much better than when he was 2 or 3, but bigger and stronger now, so it kinda makes it worse, as I can't put him in a stroller anymore.

However bribing does work. As in, you run off, you don't get the hot chocolate at Tim Horton's that I promised you.

You know it's strange, I found 3 to be mostly pretty delightful. Two and a half was rough, and 4 with my first consisted of a lot of temper tantrums, but 3 was pretty lovely, both times around. I wonder how three would have been though, if number two had arrived in the middle of the 2's instead of in the middle of the 3's. Obviously, I'll never know the answer to that one, but I suspect that it was easier to do 3 without another baby already on the scene at the 3 year old birthday. Notice that it was when my second was around a year that my first got difficult. Maybe it's just tough to be the older sibling of a one year old.

I'm in the accounting industry and always see people write accure instead of accrue and I see it so much I wonder....do they know?

I agree with Miri, reading this made me laugh although I have heard the stories before!
Plus in my mommy opinion, you succeed quite well in summoning the patience needed for dealing with C.

I completely agree with 3's being much worse than 2's. I am not yet a mother, but I have babysat a lot in my life and the 3 year old little girls are always little hellions (pardon my french) testing every limit that they have.

I think the choices method that you are using a great idea and I will definitely have to keep that in mind when I do finally become a mother. Well, I wish you all the best of luck with Camilla and Blaise, hopefully you will all get over this difficult hump triumphantly! :)

UGH. Three. Two was a total breeze. When Chris was two Tim and I would often look at each other with a haughty laugh as we remarked on our wonderful luck at having a non-terrible two-er. Boy did THAT come back to bite us. There were several months there that three was KILLING US. Chris was only 3 months into Three when we moved and brought home baby #3 (very trinitarian there, no?) within one week. Those two transitions, coupled with the age, nearly drove me to the crazy house. He's gotten much better since then, but still. THREE. Maybe Jake & Nate will just skip it.

Three is the new two. I always thought my elders disliked two because that's when they learn to use the word NO, and somehow it seems to have had more power to upset them. But the epic struggles we had at three...they were for real. My feeling is that it's awesome C potty-trained before three, because our experience was just wait until four because a three is just so quick to be non-compliant. But it happened within days of her fourth birthday, so all the struggle is just a memory.

Three is a time of massive cognitive growth. It's the age when they really, really "get" cause and effect. Bandaids for a booboo are the classic example, and character bandaids bring indescribable joy. (I still carry some in my purse and car and DD's pushing eight).

Four is a wonderful respite from three, but five...that year is pure gold.

My mom always calls it "the terrible twos" and the "Trying Threes" and said that that age was the first time she said "I wonder if I can send her back?" (she said it again when I was 15).

I like the choices thing, too, but we're still in the 2s. It doesn't come across as well some days. She does get the "if you do this, you'll be punished this way" concept, so the item gets taken away/she gets a swat/gets a time out, etc. It seems to work and we're having a few more good days than bad lately! Yay!

Two is hard because the poor child just can't express all those needs s/he has. It's rought. Three is hard because s/he can. Again and again. Loudly and with feeling. Not good feeling, just feeling. With our fourth in the midst of the terrible two year, I'm dreading what comes next. When I had twins first, I thought "what could be harder" until I had my third and fourth and learned it's more about personality than sheer numbers.
We give lots of choices in our house as well. Sometimes the second choice will include a glass of wine for Mommy.

Its a very hard age, I try to give my little girl choices too, sometimes it works well sometimes not. Shes 2 1/2 now and if that doesn't work I start counting. That works 90% of the time. If I got to ten I have to do something, doesn't matter what whether something is confiscated or sent to her room. Oh joy!!!

pregnancy stress

RE:Blaise! That is not one of your choices!"
Now that is priceless. At least you know from that statement alone that she is listening to you and she is beginning to understand that she has options in life. Keep up the good work mom and remember to be consistent.

oh the threes!!! it can feel like a living hell. with you all the way!

Your life sounds like my life! Hi, I am Maureen's friend-I don't think I have ever commented here before. I have a 3 year old girl and an eleven month old boy. My son pulls hair like you wouldn't believe (I think my daughter may be bald soon!), and when placed next to other babies, he likes to poke them in the eyes and push them over. But he really IS a sweet baby. He is also very good at resisting diaper changes. I have to strap him to a changing table every time or have someone hold him down for me. I have to admit though, for me, I am finding age three to be easier than age two in terms of my daughter's behavior. My daughter was a nightmare when my son was born (she was 2 years 3 months) and it has gotten SO much easier as she actually listens now when I tell her not to run into the street. She also doesn't wake up the baby on purpose anymore.

I totally know what you mean about the "could care less" and "one step forward."

I have always agreed that three is WAAAY worse than two!

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