Perspective

I've had a post about Blaise's time in the hospital sitting in my drafts folder for weeks.  I remember many, many of the details of his illness, and when I was still processing the whole experience, it helped to write some of it down.  But I never finished, so I never posted it.

Dealing with Blaise's being sick was one of the hardest things I've had to do as a mother so far.  I know part of that was due to the timing; it wouldn't have seemed so overwhelming to me if I hadn't been awash in postpartum hormones when it happened.  Regardless, it was a big deal to me, and even after we got home I still had to spend a fair amount of time working through it.

But after we got home I also starting following the story of a little baby who'd just had heart surgery - the son of a friend of a friend who, coincidentally, was born and underwent surgery at the same children's hospital while Blaise was an inpatient there.  He has a congenital heart defect; his condition was precarious; his parents spent two months in the hospital with him.  The preschool-aged daughter of another friend had surgery to correct another congenital condition during the same time period, surgery which also required a lengthy hospital stay.

Both little ones are thankfully doing well now, but I was following both their stories and praying for them and their families constantly over the weeks following Blaise's illness.  Meanwhile, my little boy was in great shape, growing and thriving.  Slowly I began to see his ten-day hospital stay less as a huge ordeal and more as a tiny price to pay for his fighting off RSV as quickly and effectively as he did.

When we were at the hospital we took some pictures of Blaise: nasal cannula, pulse oximeter, and all.  I could hardly imagine that I'd want to remember my little guy being so sick, but in the life of someone only a couple weeks old, ten days is too long to go without taking pictures.  So we took them.

In the past couple of weeks we've gotten some reminders out here in blogland that life is fleeting, even for little ones.  It's surreal and it's heartbreaking.

And it has changed the way I see things.  I thought I'd never want to look at those pictures we took in the hospital, but now when I see them my eyes fill with grateful tears.

This isn't a picture of a sick baby.  It's a picture of a healthy baby who just happened to have a rough week.

We are so incredibly blessed.

Comments

[Parsing Nonsense]

Wow, what a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.

[Lisa]

Amen! It helps to have some perspective on those days when our kids are dealing with at-the-moment-very-scary things.

[Account Deleted]

So thankful for my son, and your post reminded me, again. Perspective, indeed.

Also, and I'm sorry for ruining a somber tone, but you have pretty, pretty hair.

[hydrogeek]

Amen. I have been thinking this over and over the last few weeks. Especially after two Saturdays ago I attended the funeral of a 2 day old. Events to teach us perspective are not in short supply these days, and I am filled with grief for those families who are having to live the tragedies.

[blog nerd]

lovely. and not to be completely and inappropriately shallow: but the highlights in your hair are gorgeous.

[Michelle]

sometimes the biggest blessings are couched in the hardest times. You are blessed to have two healthy little ones - even if they have their rough patches. I learned this one myself, when my daughter had an aborted SIDS incident at 5 months. It's the rough patches that sometimes make it hard to see the forest for the trees. And, I totally agree - your hair looks lovely!

[AJU5's Mom]

When I look back at the pictures of my daughter in the nicu (a lot like the pictures of Blaise except with three more leads) I think back at how hard that was. But, like you I also think about those who have it worse. Those who don't know if their child is going to make it. Those who end up loosing their little one. It is a huge reality check!

[Jen]

He does look rather robust, even with the extra wires. I am so pleased that he recovered so nicely.

[Michele]

Great post, excellent perspective on Blaise's early days, and fantastic looking hair, Arwen!

[sarah]

Hi Arwen,
I have been meaning to touch base with you again, we have just had such a hectic couple of months. I have been trying to summon the courage to go back and read through Nathan's Caring Bridge journal (we keep trying to remember what happened when, in what order, etc.), but have not been able to yet. You are so correct- there is so much to work through. Thank you so much for your prayers, they have truly made a difference.
Sarah (Nathan's mom)

[Tracy]

You made me go take a look at Nina's baby album - of the beginning pictures in NICU. It helped today. To be able to take a breath, since I've been having some trouble dealing with my almost teen daughter - and instead to remember that this will pass. As so much has gone by and we've survived and thrived. Perspective is truly a gift from God.

[Becki]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed, in the midst of such a beautiful post, how good your hair looks. That said, I often forget how deeply blessed I am, that my children are alive and healthy. Thanks for the reminder.