As a child I loved our family trips to get new shoes. The shoe store was locally owned and the children's section had a raised platform with a bench where we got to sit to be measured for our Stride Rites. The friendly salesperson would help us choose them, then obligingly put our old shoes in the box so that we could wear the new ones out of the store. They also gave us helium balloons. When I close my eyes I can still remember quite vividly how it felt to walk out of that store wearing brand-new shoes with a balloon tied to my wrist and bobbing above my head. The rubber on the new shoes seemed to bounce against the pavement - or maybe my joy at having them just made it feel that way.
I've enjoyed shoes ever since. My parents always provided one good pair of name-brand tennis shoes, plus dress shoes and sandals (in keeping with my grandfather's adage that you can spend your money at the shoe store and the grocery store or at the doctor's office), but when I was a teenager if I wanted extra just-for-fun shoes, I had to pay for them myself. This meant I got them from Payless, which did not bother my teenaged self. I'd spent my childhood going barefoot whenever possible, so supportiveness in shoes was not a priority for me. I had a short attention span, so durability was not a priority either. Cheapness and cuteness were the priorities.
By the time I packed up all my stuff to go to college, I had a couple dozen pairs of shoes. This was a few more than most of my close friends, but I didn't (and still don't) think it was excessive. The grand total I'd spent on those shoes was still far less than one pair of designer boots would cost.
During my early college years I was consistently broke and didn't even have money to spend on cheap shoes, but once I got married I was able to pick the habit back up again. And since we had a real income rather than just babysitting money and checks from Grandma, I upgraded my tastes a little. I discovered DSW, and a while later Zappos. You can imagine how excited Bryan was about this, but I am very good at sticking to a budget and never spend money we don't have, so the only thing he could complain about with the new shoes was the space they occupied.
When we moved into our house in 2004, I had about fifty pairs. I still don't really think that is so many, but Bryan rolled his eyes every time the subject came up. I decided I could pacify him by getting rid of two pairs of shoes every time I bought a new pair, since quite a few of the shoes still hanging around were holdovers from my Payless days that I had no plans to wear again. I would have been willing to throw them out anyway, but I didn't tell him this part, since they made such a good bargaining tool. Things went along like that for a while, and I threw out several pairs of junky shoes and collected a few new pairs that I still wear today.
Then - and I never would have believed I'd do this, which proves that you should never say "never" - I pretty much stopped buying shoes. I was infertile/unemployed/pregnant/dealing with a newborn and too sad/unmotivated/swollen/busy to shop. There was one impulse purchase from Zappos when I decided I had to have this totally adorable pair of Pumas (I was right), but other than that, I didn't buy any shoes for nearly two years.
In that time, I had a baby. I felt pretty lucky afterward because my recovery was easy, but a few months post-partum I started noticing that my body was falling apart. I'd get this sudden shooting pain in my hip, and sometimes it would give out completely. My back hurt. My legs hurt. My feet hurt. Surely this couldn't all be attributed to the rigors of baby care!
I inherited my mom's feet, which are bad. I wear flats all the time, not just because I'm 5'9" and tower over everyone when I wear heels, but because I know that if I wear heels more than just occasionally my feet will have their revenge before I'm thirty. My mom wears SAS shoes pretty much exclusively, but I've always managed to get away with relatively unsupportive footwear, as long as the shoes were flat.
It took me more months than I'd like to admit to figure out that pregnancy had changed that for me. (Although my feet did shrunk down to pre-pregnancy size, ha!) I'd been wearing flip-flops all summer and it occurred to me a month or two ago that this could be connected to all the weird aches and pains I'd been having, especially that hip-giving-out thing. So I made sure Bryan wouldn't be needing anything from that month's clothing budget, winced a little at the price, and ordered a pair of Dansko clogs.
I've had these shoes for two months, and I am not exaggerating when I say that they have completely changed my way of thinking about the ideal shoe situation. I used to think that more was better, that having four dozen pairs of shoes from which to choose in the morning was an ideal situation. Actually, I still think that would be an ideal situation... but only if all the shoes made me feel as good as the Danskos do. I love them so much that I've been wearing them basically non-stop since I got them, and my hip hasn't given out and my back and legs and feet feel great. Who knew that high-quality shoes could make such a difference?
The other day Bryan got out a big heavy-duty trash bag and I went digging in the closet and we got rid of a lot of my shoes. I now own just twenty pairs, many of which I know I'll wear only on special occasions, and I don't expect my collection to grow much over the coming years. I feel good about this. I've always loved shoe shopping for its own sake, and I'm sure I'll still browse the aisles of DSW from time to time just for fun, but for the most part I expect my future shoe purchases to be investments in shoes that are really good for my body. And even if my shopping-loving self doesn't appreciate this, my body does. Which is, of course, what counts.
(I really finished exactly at midnight, I promise, but I set the post to publish at 11:59 so that it'd still be technically on the 15th. I didn't know it was going to take so long! Who'd have thought I could write more than 1,000 words on the topic of shoes?)
Heh. I finished my post at 11:16 and it published it as being the 16th and I had to change it back to be the 15th because it WAS. It's not MY fault the darn thing didn't change with daylight savings...
I do not own that many pairs of shoes, yet my boyfriend thinks I own a store worth. Not counting flip flops, I own maybe... 8-10 pairs? Maybe? Not a lot. Love shoes, but, like you, I prefer going barefoot. Ironic.
Posted by: Lindsay | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 01:26 AM
I have bomber* feet
And I don't like buying shoes.
I don't own many.
*"Bomber" means "solid"
In mountaineering geek-speak.
Thought I should explain.
Posted by: Sarah | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 02:02 AM
I still buy only cheap shoes. And I know I need GOOD shoes (the wonky pelvis thing). But good shoes cost so much!
Someday...
Posted by: Kate | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 03:09 AM
Yes, Danskos are wonderful...I wear them for work. (Although lately I've been wearing my pale pink Crocs to work because, well, they're pale pink...but I trip a lot in them so I may need to go back to my Danskos.)
You and I are sort of opposite, though, in that my whole life I've worn comfortable, supportive shoes, and now I'm suddenly going for the cute ones. (And deciding that at 5'11" I tower over everyone anyway, so I may as well wear heels...what's really the difference?)
Still, gotta say that I'm impressed by the 50 pairs of shoes at one point...that's a lot of shoes! Sounds like you've pared down well. :)
Posted by: Ellen | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 03:17 AM
Who are you and what have you done with my sister?
Posted by: Maggie | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 07:19 AM
I just counted to see... including the four pairs I just took from your trash bag (:-D), I have exactly 22 pairs of shoes. Six of them are SAS (two sandals, three walking shoes, one loafers.) There are three pairs of winter boots. But 10 pairs are things like those two pairs of gold ballet flats y'all hate, and the hot-pink Chinese maryjanes that I got for $3, and so forth. I wear SAS shoes almost all of every day (except in the summer when I'm going barefoot!)
Posted by: Salome Ellen | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 07:28 AM
I love cute shoes, but I too have ginormous feet (or maybe you don't, so then I am alone) - size 9.5 on my little 5'2" body! I also have major issues wearing...well, any shoe I have to stand on for more than a few minutes. I worked as a nursing assistant for a while, and I went through several pairs of shoes before I figured out, it's not the shoes, it's my feet, and they are just going to hurt.
All that said - do you all have Kohl's there? They have quality shoes, and often have a good sale. If you are ever needing shoes...
Posted by: Kim | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 07:54 AM
Could you do a post just on how you guys have set up your budget? This fascinates me. I know there are a million and a half 'how-to's out there on the web, but it's so nice to hear these things from a real people it works so well for. The way the budgeting works around here is that I'm a great big miser who doesn't want to spend any money. Your way might be a bit more realistic. ;)
Posted by: Diane | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 08:11 AM
"a real people"? You can tell I didn't get much sleep last night, no?
Posted by: Diane | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 08:12 AM
I just had to start wearing shoes with some support in them too. Which means I need to get some good ones because I am mainly wearing my old workout shoes.
Posted by: Jen | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 08:55 AM
I love real shoes. They last longer too. Though it helps if you throw away the real shoes that have truly died.
I have no idea how many shoes I own. Less than 20 pair for certain. I wear about 3 of them on a weekly basis. I do have payless shoes for special occasion, once in a blue moon shoes. But I try to spend more on the "everyday" shoes because I spend way too much time on my feet.
I do love shoes. But I have hard-to-fit feet. 6 1/2 to 7 wide. solid is a good word for them. Unlike you, pregnancy did change my shoe size eventually (it took the third kid to do it!). I was very sad to throw out some very nice shoes - because it meant I had to try to find new ones and that is always an ordeal!
Posted by: Tracy | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 08:58 AM
Danskos! Danskos! I am wearing a pair right now. I have a pair on right now -- maroon maryjanes. They are SO worth it. I like the ones with the rubbery bottoms better than the clogs -- I have a bunch of pairs of that type and one clog. I am currently eyeing up a pair of "mandolin" loafers but am searching for the best deal.
I found some really cheap (like $30 cheap) at a Nordstrom Rack if you have that near you.
Seriously, a nice pair of shoes can make a HUGE difference. Definitely worth the price.
That said, I do have my fair share of payless-type shoes but do not wear them on a regular basis. Also, I did get two pairs of supercomfy shoes at Kohl's (hi Kim!) that I wear pretty regularly.
Posted by: mary | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 09:13 AM
I own six pairs of shoes.
2 pair of plain white sneakers, one of which I don't wear because they have holes in them.
1 pair of plain black dress shoes.
1 pair of "Franciscan sandles", so called because they look like the kind the friars wear--just plain tan leather things.
1 pair of white plastic crocs for the shower.
1 pair of men's boots for when it gets cold.
Yes, I wear men's boots. It is no easy task to find shoes in 10W, and 8 or 9 mens works nicely. I think I'm not a shoe person simply because every "cute" shoe is about 3 sizes too small for my feet.
Posted by: Megan Elizabeth | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:27 AM
You mean my worn out Birkenstocks might be the reason for that postpartum shooting hip pain and the leg that gives out??
I thought it was because I'm older than Methuselah.
(But I hope a tad bit cuter. Especially in my pink Steve Madden pumps.)
Posted by: blog nerd | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:28 AM
My pregnant self has noticed an increase in the need for more comfortable shoes, too. I used to not like shoes - only wore practical ones. Then I got a job where I had a ton of disposable income in college and my best friend convinced me there was an art to shoes. I started spending money on shoes, collecting fancy things, etc. I've reverted to my old practical ways both for budget reasons and for foot-health (I broke my foot a few years back and have never been able to tolerate heels long-term since). Eastlands are my favorite shoe investment, though I may look into those Danskos. DH lives in his Birkenstocks and now I've begun to live in my Eastlands and my tennis shoes. :-)
Posted by: Christiana | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:31 AM
50 pairs Arwen! My jaw dropped. I currently have 6, although I recognize that I am cheap and unstylish. :) I'm just kind of indifferent to shoes, I guess. Ah, well. My husband appreciates it! LOL.
Posted by: Caroline | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:55 AM
I love my Danskos. Do you know about Dansko Outlet.com? I've had luck there. And Ebay. I bought one pair of very gently worn Dansko Mary Jane clogs for $40 and a brand new pair of closed clogs for $65.
Besides Danskos, NAOT, Birkenstock, Ecco and Camper all make comfortable, supportive and good looking shoes.
I'm almost 18w pregnant and trying to resist buying new shoes since I don't know how swollen my feet with get (esp. the left, complicated by a bad ankle break and two surgical repairs)) and whether or not they'll ever return to pre-pregnancy size.
Posted by: Melissa | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:56 AM
Danskos are awesome!! I wear them for work (I am a RN on an ortho/neuro floor), I wear them around home, pretty much for everything. And they don't break down like tennis shoes - I've had one pair for over a year, and still in great shape. Great investment overall.
Posted by: RaeAnn | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 11:20 AM
I agree with Christiana- ever since I broke my foot, I haven't been able to tolerate heels for any length of time.
Posted by: Margaret | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 01:10 PM
My feet grew half a size when I was pregnant with my daughter and they didn't go back. I'm scared to buy too many shoes because if we have another baby, I might not be able to wear them.
Posted by: Keri | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 05:30 PM
I struggle to find shoes that I consider a) practical and b) comfortable and that match my sense of who I am (no stilettos for me). I have been telling myself that I need to get better insoles for my current pair of shoes, and this post has only reinforced that feeling.
Posted by: parodie | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 08:00 PM
Aw, I have the opposite little kid stride-rite memories. That place was torture - the salesman was MEAN and always managed to convince my mother to buy the ones I liked the least!
I just HATE going to shoe stores too. I need wide width, and seeing a cute shoe that only comes in regular is torture. But I lurve Zappos too! Order in the afternoon - find shoes on doorstep next day - almost instant gratification!
Posted by: Hoo | Friday, November 16, 2007 at 11:47 PM
Good supportive shoes (and a properly-fitted bra) are the key to back health for anyone who's ever had a baby.
And I discovered that the most important time to have the supportive shoes is when the ligaments and cartelidge in your pelvis is stiffening back up after delivery. I learned that the hard way by having near constant back pain between #1 and #2.
Posted by: cjmr | Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 03:10 PM
I read your post... and decided to buy some Danskos because of your recommendation! Ha ha! Thanks. :)
Posted by: Gregaria | Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 05:18 PM
I used to also have a shoe habit, but have gone to the few expensive-but-good variety because of foot problems. I sympathize.
Posted by: Lisa | Sunday, November 18, 2007 at 01:34 AM
I love Zappos! I've heard so many good things about Danskos, but have yet to purchase a pair for myself.
Posted by: Shelby | Monday, November 19, 2007 at 12:50 AM
Ahh the Dansko clogs!! I wear them for work (lots of walking on a hard surface (no carpet)). I used to have a pair of clarks that I thought were great but all of sudden I wasn't able to walk in the morning and my hips and back and everything just HURT. So on the advice of a coworker I bought a pair of Dansko clogs and have not had a problem since!
Posted by: Duchess | Monday, November 19, 2007 at 02:38 PM
I also love my Dansko clogs, and I'm wearing them right now. However, I must caution you to be careful when you're wearing them (remember this post? I was especially creeped out to read the commenter who stated, "I fell in Danskos too! The physical therapist said it happens all the time." GAH).
I mean, granted, I'm not going to stop wearing them, but just use caution if you're carrying Milla.
Posted by: PiquantMolly (AKA Mollywogger) | Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 09:43 AM