So, not to get all dramatic on you or anything, but remember the spotting that I mentioned in passing when I was telling the How We Found Out I Was Pregnant story? Nearly three weeks after it began, it still hasn’t gone away.
I’ve read enough to know that spotting in early pregnancy is common, that it could be a sign of something bad but could also be something completely harmless. Nevertheless, the morning after that pregnancy test turned up positive (day six of the spotting, in case you were wondering), I was on the phone with my doctor’s office. After I answered some questions, the friendly nurse told me it was probably nothing to worry about, and to call her back if it continued for another week.
Ah, yes, nothing to worry about. You all know how that goes. My conversation with the nurse was on Wednesday (the day I wrote this post) and by Saturday I was a wreck. That was when I really started devoting myself to conquering my fear. And somewhere in there I realized that I would be afraid even if there was no physical reason for it. This whole thing is thrilling but also terrifying and, just like with grief, there is no way around the terror. The only way is to go through it. So through it I started, and by grace fear was forced to loosen its grip on me, and I was doing somewhat better in a few days.
Nevertheless, when Tuesday came around, it occurred to me that perhaps I should call the doctor immediately so there would be plenty of time to go in before we left town on Friday. I called the office, and the receptionist, probably in response to the semi-frantic note in my voice, scheduled me to come in that afternoon. I had an ultrasound, which showed a sac measuring four weeks six days – a week small by the dates, but exactly what I had expected based on what I’d observed during my cycle – and an exam, and everything looked good. The doctor reassured me that she’s had patients spot through their entire first trimesters for no apparent reason – which actually did make me feel better – and sent me off to be bled.
They were looking, of course, for hCG doubling time, which meant I had to go in again on Thursday afternoon. Fortunately, the nurse had told me the best lab to go to (my doctor works with a network of them) and I was in and out in minutes both times, which was a pleasant change from previous experiences. Friday we were at the airport when the doctor called my cell phone to tell me that the hCG “just about doubled” in forty-eight hours, which she considered to be good news. She also told me what I already knew – that until I go in for another scan after we return from our trip, there’s no other reassurance they can give me. We just have to wait and see.
Meanwhile, I’m reassured because my pregnancy symptoms are increasing. I didn’t have any nausea until this weekend but now I’ve got it in spades, and more each day. (I never thought I’d be happy to feel sick!) But at the same time, the spotting is scary, and I know that we are by no means out of the woods yet.
I’ve been praying hard and constantly these past days, that tiny Pāhoehoe will stay firmly lodged in there. (The name was assigned by my eternally creative younger siblings – my sister’s baby is ‘A‘a, for the other type of lava.) The waiting is not my favorite thing, but what can you do? In the meantime, I’m trying to remember to enjoy this, as I am, after all, very happy to be pregnant. Imagine that.
Oh darn, I was kind of hoping you'd go with Darth Sidious :-p. But seriously, keep praying and remember that I'm praying for you (along with pretty much the entire student body down here). I'm holding tight to Ez. 36:36--"...for I have promised, and I will do it, says the Lord." Remember that he told you to ask for this in faith, and you did--and He will hold up His end of the deal. I love you so much and I am praying so hard for you!! I would call you, except for that whole no-service thing...call me when you get back! I love you!
Posted by: Maggie | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 07:14 PM
Continued prayers for you and Baby Pāhoehoe, Arwen.
Posted by: KatieButler | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 07:16 PM
I am hoping and praying for a positive and healthy (for you AND the baby) to your pregnancy.
Posted by: Ariella | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Still thinking of you and praying for you. Hang in there, enjoy your wonderful vacation and keep trusting that everything is totally fine. And YES, increasing symptoms is a VERY good sign! Yay morning sickness! ;)
Posted by: Rebekah | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 08:55 PM
I'll keep praying. Spotting is not fun, but yeah for symptoms. And the hCG sounds great. I like the verse that Maggie is claiming for you!
Posted by: Tracy | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 09:40 PM
I love the baby's nicknames. (I'm guessing A'a will be able to pronounce his or her name first though :)).
Re spotting - I've probably said this before, but might as well reiterate: I think some women just spot. I never spotted three weeks straight, but had many random, ugly episodes of pink spotting until ten or twelve weeks, and never a whisper of nausea or anything until eight weeks, and everything turned out well nonetheless, so the fact that your spotting isn't getting heavier AND you're sick sounds very encouraging.
Still praying for you two and the bean - take care!
Posted by: Sonetka | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 09:48 PM
I have friends whose surname is "Horn". I guess it was pretty much inevitable that their first child was, when in utero, nicknamed "Shoe."
You are in my prayers as well.
Posted by: Donna Marie Lewis | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 at 09:56 PM
Hang in there, Arwen. We're praying for you. I'm so glad you got to have an ultrasound; I'm sure that helped ease your mind tremendously.
Posted by: mary | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 08:10 AM
I hate the waiting too!
Prayers and hugs!
Posted by: Hoo | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 09:13 AM
Arwen - I know how scary spotting in early pg. can be... it happened to me off and on too. The facts that your symptoms are increasing and your HCG doubled in 48 hrs (or nearly doubled) are both GREAT signs. HCG doesn't have to double even that fast, so please feel comforted that your doctors are really taking good care of you. AND, even better than the doctors - you have all of the prayer and strength of every single person who knows you, even if only through your writings. I pray for you every night - you and your growing family. I'm confident that your baby is here to stay. And once you get past this scarry part, it's so much fun!
Posted by: Jen in Missouri | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 09:22 AM
Praying for you! I love the verse that your sister is claiming for you.
Posted by: Louise | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 10:24 AM
I never spotted, but I had contractions EVERY EVENING for the entire first trimester. Freaked out, yes. Eventually, I stopped having the corresponding daily panic attacks.
Still praying for you!
Posted by: Jordana | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 10:48 AM
How well I remember cheering and praising God every time I threw up! That morning sickness gave me immense hope, though.
Praying...
Posted by: Sparki | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 12:14 PM
I've been praying for you night and day anyhow, and will continue to do so. I know the spotting must be worrisome, but you have heard correctly that sometimes spotting is just spotting--particularly in light of all the other signs being as favorable as they are.
Do remember that I live within easy driving distance if you feel that you'd like someone to wait on you hand and foot while you recline and grow a baby. I'm serious.
Posted by: Becki | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 03:46 PM
I'm sorry about the spots. Here's hoping that's all it will ever amount to. I'm sure it's no comfort at all knowing that it's common as dirt and that some women have it happen for each of their pregnancies. I'm wishing you peace with it, though. Pregnancy is a real exercise in submission sometimes!
Posted by: Celeste | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 03:55 PM
Being as analytical as you are I thought you might want to know the common (theoretical) explanation for the spotting--the womb lining grows thickest where the baby is implanted. Sometimes, the parts of the lining where the baby is NOT can try to shed themselves.
You are right increasing symptoms are a very, very good thing.
Your little cocoon is weaving itself tightly around--soon there will be a butterfly...
Posted by: Jennifer | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 04:54 PM
My prayers are with you. Pregnancy can be so nerve-wracking sometimes. As for the spotting, I had constant spotting for nearly 11 weeks with my youngest child, even to the point of occasional clots, bringing on constant fear and worry. She is now a gloriously beautiful 6 year old, the delight of our hearts.
Posted by: melissa | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 06:30 PM
The worry, love, and devotion of motherhood begins immediately, doesn't it? Prayer for yuo from us.
Posted by: Renee | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 07:06 PM
Thanks for keeping us updated. I hope you are able to enjoy your time away.
Lifting you up...
Posted by: Lisa | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 07:57 PM
While they were checking your HCG, did they check your progesterone? I ask because I had spotting due to low-ish progesterone, and staying on top of it with progesterone suppositories may (and I stress, may) have helped my Hannah stay put. I had borderline levels in a prior pregnancy that failed for no other apparent reason.
It's one of those preventative measures that can't hurt, if you're in a grey area.
Still praying for you, your family, and some measure of peace.
Posted by: Julia | Thursday, March 02, 2006 at 08:58 PM
Just a Heads-up: If you're a spotter (as I am--I spotted through the first trimester of both my successful pregnancies) you will probably have heavy spotting or full-on bleeding for a few days right around your 16th week, when the uterus stretches the most quickly. With my second pregnancy I was bleeding so much one day that I stayed horizontal in bed for 10 hours on my midwives' orders. It's normal, but terrifying.
Posted by: Moxie | Saturday, March 04, 2006 at 10:30 PM