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Tuesday, November 01, 2005


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Needless to say, willfulness is one of my most pronounced qualities.

We should start a club, then - that's what my mother says about me :).

I first read TWHF about two years ago - I loved it, but didn't completely get it (I don't now, but I think I've gotten a little closer). Now I read the last portion and sometimes feel like I've grasped hold of the feeling that Orual is experiencing for just a few seconds, and then it fades away again. One thing I found fascinating - and very true - is how it becomes clear that surrendering is one thing, hard enough, but *staying* surrendered is of truly awesome difficulty. Maybe that's why I feel most like Orual but admire Istra the most - how many days did she have to wait to be sacrificed, and never fought back?

Sorry, I'm rambling. I am very glad you've managed to get past the questions for now. Enjoy the calm waters :).

Somewhat embarrassingly, I have not yet read TWHF. Obviously I should, though. Maybe I'll add it to my Christmas list.

I hear you re: questions and silences. When I was young and still living with my parents, I had a tree I liked to talk to (and because it was a quaking aspen, sometimes it seemed to talk back). Generally this tree bore the brunt of my "why?!" questions. The handy thing about asking one's questions to a tree is that they don't generally give you much feedback, and in the silences after I was done with my questions I would look back over them and often find an answer in the question, as you described. I don't have a "talking tree" anymore these days, but over the years my need to ask "why?!" has simmered down to a manageable level, so I'm able to be my own tree. :-)

I know you love Michael Card's music. Your post made me think of these lyrics.

Could it be You make Your presence known
So often by Your absence?
Could it be that questions tell us more
Than answers ever do?
Could it be that You would really rather die
Than live without us?
Could it be the only answer that means anything
Is You?

Peace, Beth

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