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Monday, September 12, 2005


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Liam says "Krispy Kreme".

My crazy husband aside, I love reading your thoughts on marriage (being a young married myself), life issues, and just the day to day effort to live out your values and beliefs more fully.

You know, the stuff I relate to. :-)

Hi Elizabeth - I'm not sure what to suggest because I've had the same thoughts about my IF journey (until our recent sudden flurry of activity in which we may adopt my cousin's 4-year-old daughter) - when you're not doing what the "cool kids" do, there's not much to say about it. We even went to a meeting of an Infertility, Adoption and Foster Care ministry at another parish about 2 years ago, and didn't even feel like we fit in THERE - everyone either had pursued treatment, or had adopted infants (which we didn't feel called to) - and one couple had I think 2 children and was experiencing secondary infertility (which to a childless person seems silly but they wanted 7 kids I think).

When you decide to let the mystery be and just wait on God, it seems like you're alone in doing it. One of the greater joys of our possible adoption is knowing that my Christian friends "get it" - they know we were waiting for a sign, and after 2 long years of waiting (and *5* years of TTC) for one, we've got it. To a woman they've all wept for joy for us.

So I guess I don't have any particular input for you, just understanding. I hope you still feel called to write because really, you're the only IF blogger I read who thinks about IF the way I do/have.

Hi. Longtime reader/lurker and fellow infertile. I'm also a relatively new Catholic by way of marriage and RCIA (grew up a Southern Presbyterian/Methodist). I enjoy reading your blog, especially when I'm able to learn a little more about the Church from a "cradle-Catholic" (one other than my husband, who really only fully embraced his faith when I finally decided to convert). Here's something I'd welcome your thoughts on if you felt open to blogging about it.

It wasn't long after I made the decision to convert and we both made the decision to become more active in our faith that we started trying to conceive. By the time I was confirmed, we had already spent almost a year trying and IVF was our next step. Obviously at that point (if not before), we knew the Church's stance on ART. Nevertheless, we forged ahead and LONG story short, we were blessed with a child in June as a result of our third attempt. He is the light of our lives and we have no regrets whatsoever.

However, I do wonder about how his birth changes things as far as the Church is concerned. If the Church stands firmly against ART, where do they stand once a child is actually conceived, carried for nine months, and birthed? Does a live baby cancel out any of the repercussions of having done ART - in other words, do the ends justify the means at the end of the day?

Surprisingly, my husband, who is much more devout in practice, has always felt comfortable about our decision to do IVF, though I admit I often wonder if he ever brought it up during confession. To think that any sort of sin could be associated with my sweet little one is difficult to comprehend.

I understand that children born to a marriage that is subsequently annulled are not considered out-of-wedlock, so I assume the answer to my question is something similar. But I think there's a greater question at hand, but it's a question that's harder to pin down and express properly, if that makes any sense.

All I know is that when I look into his beautiful eyes and watch that silly, gummy grin spread across his face, I see a gift from God and there's no way God could send us such a blessing with any sort of finger-shaking strings attached.

On a side note, we had him baptised two weeks ago. It was the first time I had attended a Catholic baptism and it was a week after attending the Presbyterian baptism of my cousin's little boy. Talk about night and day differences! At any rate, it was a very special day.

You are in my prayers as you continue your journey to motherhood...

Well, I'm always interested in anything you write, but I am particularly interested in learning more about Catholicism. (I attend an Evangelical Free church currently, but attended an Anglican church for a couple of years in college and loved the liturgy and weekly communion.) Anyway, I'm getting to know a guy who attends a Methodist church, but is thinking of converting to Catholicism. I'm relatively ignorant as to the differences in theology between Protestants and Catholics, and would be interested in learning more about our commonalities and differences. I think that at the end of the day, both sects worship the same God, believe in salvation through the blood of Christ, and are part of the same catholic (little "c") church...but I'm still interested in hearing your thoughts.

Uhm, I like the stories from the past.. I always get a kick out of hearing good stories. Guess I never outgrew that. Anyway, more fun/personal/romantic/quirky/thought provoching/interesting stories for me. I'm not so crazy about the Catholic stuff.

Btw, if you look at my blog, let me just warn you. There's something wrong with it, so it only shows the most recent entry. Not any of the old stuff.

Ok...I have a stupid question that I was going to ask weeks back but then felt embarrassed...

When you were talking about Harry Potter and canvassing opinions on it you said something to the effect of there being no official Vatican statement on the books, so it was incorrect for people to say that the Catholic Church was 'against' HP. And, I can't remember if you really stated your own view, but I got the feeling that you liked HP (me too). question is 'What if there was an official Vatican 'ruling' against HP?'. I know you are a Catholic who doesn't pick and choose teachings to follow. So what would you do?

The reason I was embarrassed to ask was that you could argue the CC wouldn't make such a ruling. And I have a degree in theology so I can think of all kinds of arguments to make here (along the lines of 'is something good/right because God/the Church ordains it, or does God/The Church ordain something because its right/good), but I wondered what you would think.

Dur...its such a silly question! Sorry!

Why do you wish Martin Luther had never been born?

Have you ever had a crisis of faith?

What do you think of the Eastern Orthodox Church? (I'm Eastern Orthodox, and I'm always interested to see what/if Catholics think about us. We learn quite a bit about Catholics in the course of Sunday School, etc., but I have the feeling that Catholics don't learn much about us.)

I would like to understand the Catholic Church's opinion on fertility treatments. I would love to hear the reasoning, philosophy, etc. I mean, if the church is so "Pro-life" then why aren't they, um, pro-life?

I don't have any suggestions really, or questions, just the desire to tell you to keep writing. Because I will read anything you write. I am in a similar stage of things, regarding infertility. Adoption is almost impossible and we are done with treatment for now because we cannot find a physician. I enjoy your posts about adoption and infertility, but I understand your need to branch out. That said, I'll still be here reading.

I vote for a combination (as your whimsy takes you) of apologetics, personal stories, and descriptions of everyday life occurances. I already have plenty of websites to go to for political discussion.

Questions I have: Do you really like the area of the country where you live, or are you living there for pragmatic reasons (you're used to it, family is there, jobs are there, etc.)? How many and which states have you visited? Have you ever traveled outside the country (not including Canada)? Have you ever sung in a choir? Do you own your house and if so, what was the buying process like? (We're still renting but look forward with excitement and trepidation to buying a house and land some day.)

I'm delurking to impose my biases on you! Hee hee!

My favorites tend to be your family stories; I also like learning about Catholicism (from an intellectual standpoint; I'm Jewish) from someone so articulate and complassionate.

I'm ... not so wild about the politics stuff, probably because you and I are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum on nearly everything.

I love reading your a practicing Catholic and as someone who has been dealing with infertility for almost 4 years, I feel that I can relate to many of the things that you write about. I enjoy all that you write about, and I eagerly look forward to your new entries.
I have a question for you. Is there a reason why you haven't pursued any kind of IF treatment? There are some very good Catholic, pro life doctors (I would be happy to recommend my personal favorite) that work to help couples dealing with IF without compromising our faith in any way. As a relatively new reader to your blog, you may have covered this somewhere and I just haven't read it yet. If so, I am sorry.
So, that is my question....
Thanks for sharing your feelings, etc. with us, and for putting into words some of the things that I have trouble saying.
God Bless!

If you want inspiration from even a sometimes reader (not the same Ellen as above), I think there are lots and lots of current issues you could write well on. As you say, there's politics - what do you think of John Roberts? Do you think he will change the balance of the court as far as "life" issues are concerned? There of course is Katrina, with all of the political questions accompanying her, and certainly plenty of issues for apologists, too, the least of one's brothers and all that. I could see if that were more controversial than you felt the need to be, though. There's the upcoming film adaptation of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Have you seen the trailers? Do you think that the allegorical aspects of it will be downplayed? (I'd sort of expect so, but they are advertising it through Christian channels so who knows.) Are you reading anything you like especially now? I'm as curious as one of the other posters about your Harry Potter stand (haven't read the post referenced, though). Do you listen to contemporary Christian music, and if so, who do you like? Obviously you've said you like Michael Card (one of my husband's favorites), but I'm wondering about newer artists, like Caedmon's Call, Bebbo Norman, Jennifer Knapp, Third Day, Relient K, etc...
God bless - hope something sparks your fancy.

Well, since I seem to share your Margarita enthusiasm, I'll vote for more on that topic. I'm confused by your favorite brand there - it always gives me a headache! Maybe it's my mixing method!?! And then on to the debate: frozen or on the rocks.
Seriously, I enjoy reading your blog and your beautiful way with words. you like writing about books? I'd love to see your thoughts on what you're reading (or have read in the past).

Do you believe in ghosts?

Like many other readers stated already, I would love to read anything that you want to write, because you do it so beautifully, but since you want us to choose, I would say what I enjoy the most: stories about you and Michael and your amazing family. Day to day stuff and stories from the days growing up.

No politics for me, since I live in South America and cannot really relate to US politicians that much. Thank you for asking us and hope the adoption fund grows quickly because I will certainly be thrilled to read about your motherhood journey.

Oh, one more thing...At my baby's baptism, the deacon started rattling off saints and I swear I heard him say "St. Jennifer," which is my name (well, just the Jennifer part - LOL!). When I got home, I googled her but I couldn't find anything except a medal that some online store is selling and the tidbit that her feast day is January 3. If true, that's kinda spooky because that's also my birthday. Anyway, just wondering if you've ever heard of her. Thanks!

FWIW, I picked St. Therese of Lisieux to be my patron saint. Perhaps you could share yours and why you (or your parents, I guess) picked her/him. I always have a difficult time explaining the role of saints to my Protestant friends. They tend to take a very negative view.

I think it would be a blessing to write a bit about the theology of infertility - why it is such a burden yet why it is morally acceptable to not intervene. Also as the writer above says, what is wrong with ART etc.
But I also just appreciate the down home stories of life the universe and everything.

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