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Friday, April 01, 2005


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Well since it seems you have bigger goals, I say do something that will be easy to leave from when the times come. I was a SAHW once and if I could have gotten a job, then I think it would have been part-time at a local craft store. Or doing something for a museum or the like. Childcare maybe, but try and work the front desk, not with the kids because leaving them sucks. Stuff like that.

Well, I have loved every one of my jobs -- I'm one of the lucky types who is hppy doing many things, and has been so blessed to find fabulous work with fabulous bosses and co-workers. Among my favorites wrapping (did that for ten years, through high school college and then some) and delivering flowers...what could be mor efun than to be the bringer of joy? Everyone was always ecstatic to have me knock at their door. ;)

Arwen -
Since you know that the two of you can live off Michaels income, why don't you consider taking on unpaid charity work, or a lower paying position which would serve the Church in some way. Do a work that you can love. Also, that way you won't become accustomed to living off two incomes, so if something happens, (whether it be baby or something else) you won't have to make the difficult adjustment back to one income again.

A lot of charities and charitable foundations depend on young singles and older retired folks because no-one else can afford to work for little or nothing (or has the time). You have an amazing opportunity to do a lot of good somewhere.

Just my 2 cents

Have you thought about going to grad school? That could provide the right time delay and flexible schedule. Plus it seems to me that you really enjoy school. I went to grad school pretty shortly after my undergrad and it made the transition really easy! Just a thought!

I'm coming out of lurkdom to answer this (found you from Selkie's blog a while ago).

I'm not sure what you should do - but one piece of advice that I have always been glad to have been given, was that no matter what - if my dh was employed, we should live on that income alone. My income was put aside for the future, or used for big purchases (vacation, car, furniture), or for my schooling costs. When after 5 long years, we had our first child, I was able to walk away without worrying about our living expenses, etc. I've seen too many women trapped by debt and living expenses because they are living at a standard that they can only afford with two incomes - and that is sad to me, to think that there are moms who want to stay home and can't find a way to do it right away.

God Bless as you make your decisions. I spent some of the time as a SAHW - doing volunteer work, and other portions of the time working.

I agree about trying not to live on the second income if you are sure you would quit when you have a baby. But I would encourage you to find some work that you like and you think you'd be good at. I'm not sure what your major is and what your extracurricular activities are. Its obvious you write well- you might consider a job with the school in the department you are majoring in. I would also check out the job fairs and career counseling center at school. Since it doesn't sound like salary is an issue for you, I'd encourage you to think about things you might be good at that are generally hard positions to fill- social worker, DFS case worker, substitute teacher.

Also, I wouldn't feel too guilty about starting a job and then quitting 9-12 months from now if you have a baby. It happens, people adjust. My first two jobs out of grad school only lasted a year. The first one, because I hated it. The second one, because we moved for my husband's job. No one took it personally and most people understand that life issues come before job stuff, particularly for women.

It would help to know your major. I'm actually a career advisor, so I might have some suggestions. :)

I would definitely recommend finding a job after will keep you busy and your mind occupied. One great benefit to having a professional job when you do get pregnant...maternity leave. The extra money can definitely come in handy. Then, you could always choose not to go back.

I graduated with a degree in Psychology and am now a career advisor with a private university...I really enjoy it. The best advice I can give you (without knowing your major) is to be picky with your first job out of college. Don't accept any old job - make sure it's something you enjoy.

E-mail me and I'll be happy to share more insight. :)

Maybe you could look into freelance writing from a young, married Catholic perspective? There are a lot of Catholic magazines, websites, organizations, etc. , who I am sure would love your kind of input.

Freelance writing is great but you have to be very, very disciplined, and if you end up undergoing treatment it might be better not to count on that as your sole occupation. (I don't mean in terms of not making any money, since that isn't an issue here, but you are alone 99% of the time and if you're worried about two week wait or waiting for the results of a test to come back you can dry up to an unbelievable extent). But writing combined with some other kind of job (part-time? I like the suggestion of church work, but it sounds like anything literary/bookish would work) could be very good; that's what I did and it helped a great deal - I had time to rest and write on my own, but I was also forced to be in contact with other people at least some of the time, which does wonders for not letting you go completely bonkers :).

Grad school does sound like it might suit you but I'd hold off until you get a better idea diagnostically of where you are and how much if/how it's possible to fix whatever is preventing you from conceiving. Grad school, while rewarding, can be terribly stressful and time-consuming (I say this from watching my husband and quite a few friends) and you might not want to be dealing with that and treatment at the same time.

I agree you should put that income directly in the savings account. If you want to truly prepare for your next career (motherhood), I suggest volunteering at your church's day care or at a local pre-school. Maybe at the hospital nursery? Just a suggestion!

How about working as in a childcare center or something like that? Or as alifeguard for the summer? Look also at golf courses they always need help in the dining areas.

Puh, I am not much help am I?

I really don't know you (other than from Selkie's blog), but my advice to anyone with student loans is to pay them off immediately. Whatever job you get (butcher at your local supermarket pays pretty big bucks!), put as much of your pay toward any debt you guys have (even your whole check, since you're already used to living off of your husband's pay). I have seen women not be able to stay home with their kids because of student loans.

Do you think you might want to continue some kind of working after babies come along? If so, maybe look for a job where they welcome children (there are some...Mothering magazine just had a story on it).

It seems that you can afford to look more for work environment than salary. That's really great!

Are you good with young people? They could really use a "cool" person who also has good morals.

Maybe a job with some really good with an airline or travel agent ( could be a travel writer!).

There's so much out there! Oh, to be young again!

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