My sister was being eminently sensible when she planned not
to date until her junior year of college. She’d seen the struggles Michael and I went through because we start
dating so young, and (wisely) didn’t want to go through the same things
herself.
Frankly, it seemed like a smart decision to me. But even then, three years ago, I knew that
God sometimes has plans for us that we don’t anticipate, and I wondered what
would happen in spite of her resolve.
One her first day at college, Rosie fell down at Anthony’s
feet. Literally – they were playing
soccer or frisbee or something, and she slipped on the grass. Although he doesn’t particularly remember
helping her up (being on the orientation team, he’d met a lot of people that
day) he recalls noticing her over the coming weeks.
I wasn’t going to school with them that semester (I
transferred the following January), and my sister was reluctant to mention him,
but at a school with only 250 students, the slightest interest does not go
unnoticed, and so I heard his name from Rosie’s roommates. Asked about him, she talked a little, but
her struggle was mostly internal. She
was a bundle of contradictions, still mostly convinced that her resolution to
put off dating was the right decision, but attracted to Anthony nonetheless,
and also fairly sure that he wasn’t interested in her anyway.
I’d never met him, but somehow, from the first moment I
heard his name, I knew that she had nothing to worry about, that he was
interested.
And sure enough, he was. My sister may have been surprised when, in February, Anthony approached
her about dating. Even though I’d only
met him a time or two by then, I wasn’t surprised at all.
Things developed gradually. I think they had their first date that March, and he came to my parents’
house that spring for Easter, meeting our family for the first time. They were both a little shy, a little
nervous together, but I thought the prognosis was good.
I’d be lying, though, if I said their courtship went
smoothly the whole way. They spent that
summer (of 2003) on opposite sides of the country, and in the fall he had an
exchange semester in Austria, planned before he knew my sister. When he was in Austria Rosie went through a
tough time. That November they decided
(read: she decided) to make their emotional status match their geographical
status, and take some time apart.
In January of 2004, Anthony was back in town, annoyed with
my sister and determined (he says) to have nothing to do with her. But Rosie (he admits this now) is pretty
irresistible, and by the end of that semester their relationship was back on
good, if tentative, footing.
We took a trip up north with them that May, and although I’d
had the feeling all along, that was the first time I knew they were meant for
each other. Often in spite of
themselves, their joy in each other was palpable.
In the fall of 2004, after another summer apart, the two
headed down together to school in Florida. Desperately homesick and depressed, Rosie had a rough time of it during
her first few months there, and so did their relationship. I spent hours on the phone with her,
consoling her and sometimes challenging her.
I can’t pretend that going through the emotional wringer
with her was always easy for me. But
for the most part, I am deeply grateful when I have a chance to be there for my
dear ones. And counselor seems to be a
role I fall into naturally (see Rosie’s shirt in the picture below).
As ought to be apparent from the end of the story,
eventually they made it. Although I
always knew that it should happen, I was often afraid that it wouldn’t, but
Rosie called me, out of the blue, on the evening of February 16th,
to tell me that they were engaged. She
was emotional and a little scared, but I felt a sudden lightness in my chest
that spoke of the difference between praying and being fairly certain that
something will happen, and suddenly being sure that it will.
(Lest you think me callous, let me assure you that I knew,
also, that if the decision were the wrong one it would become quickly apparent,
just as if it were the right one things were bound to point that way.)
The transformation in Rosie and Anthony during their
engagement was amazing. They’d been
praying hard for months, and when they got engaged they both knew that it was
the right thing. But she was still
shaky and depressed, and I imagine that dealing with that was not entirely easy
for him.
However, by the time I flew down to visit in March, I could
already see their joy budding. It was
if making the decision to get married had moved them into a new period of their
lives, a period where uncertainty had been banished and the future could be
welcomed openly, smilingly.
By May, with two months to go, they were both impatient for
their wedding day, ready to start their life together. It felt, to all of us, that July 23rd
would never come, but of course it did.
Rosie asked me to be her matron of honor (she was maid of
honor for me, and I’ll show you pictures from our wedding someday, when I
remember to take them to my parents’ house and scan them). I was glad for the chance to take care of my
little sister on one of the biggest days of her life.
At the reception, a family friend of Anthony’s came up to
them and told Rosie that his favorite part of the wedding was watching her
sisters’ faces as she came down the aisle. “They were all beaming,” he said. And we undeniably were, for a better thing has never happened to our
sister.
It was a glorious day. Both families rejoiced together in the joining of two people we love so
much.
They’re on their honeymoon now, but when they return they’ll
be living in a little apartment two miles from our house. We can’t wait to have them nearby.
Meanwhile, I’m still praying for Rosie and Anthony, just as
I prayed for them constantly during their engagement. I pray especially that their children may come quickly and
easily. I pray that their life together
may be filled with countless other blessings. And I pray that they may find the same solace in each other that Michael
and I do, that they may thank God for their marriage as I thank him for mine
every day. If there’s one thing of
which this whole wedding has reminded me, it’s how blessed I am.
