I took copious notes throughout my day yesterday and am working on putting together a day in the life post, but the reason it isn't ready is the same reason I almost didn't manage to write at all anything tonight: ohhhh my head hurts.
Do you get migraines? I can't say I recommend it. In fact I heartily disrecommend it.
I've always been headache prone due to jankity sinuses, but I would only get a couple killer headaches a year. It wasn't until last summer or early fall that I started having them regularly, two or even three a week. It correlated with weaning and cycle regulation after over seven continuous years of pregnancy and/or nursing, so I suspected a hormonal cause, but it's hard to nail that stuff down. And anyway there wasn't much to do about it except get pregnant again, which seemed kind of extreme as a headache remedy, so instead I started working with my doctor and it's been months of trying different meds and chasing down triggers and yadda yadda yadda.
(I also collected advice for a while, but I'm done with that stage now, although I thank you for your kind instincts. I'm still collected sympathy if you've got any extra.)
One tough thing for me about having chronic or recurring pain is that I tend to play Reverse Pain Olympics, so I'm always reminding myself how much worse other people have it. And then one day I can't stop crying and I feel like life is too big and hard and WHY? Why am I so overwhelmed when on paper my day to day life is so much easier than it was a year ago?
Then I remember: my head hurts all the time. That does tend to wear a person down.
So it's this constant balancing game trying to prevent the pain from starting in the first place (stress and exhaustion appear to be my migraine triggers, I discovered after a hardcore elimination diet, but my sinuses are a nasty wild card all their own), managing it when it inevitably shows up, and keeping all the necessary parts of my daily life happening through it. It's difficult.
And when my head doesn't hurt at the moment, I'm such a jerk, I can't remember why the headaches are a big deal. Why not simply rise above them and continue carrying out the tasks of my vocation with elegance? But then another one hits and it's like... OHHHHH YES THIS. Sorry, can't talk about living a meaningful balanced life just now because it appears someone managed to shove invisible ice picks in there above my eyebrows.
(I'm promise I'm only a jerk to myself. If YOU have headaches, I feel terrible for YOU, and cut YOU all kinds of slack.)
The headaches have kept me much quieter than usual online this winter, and I've been hibernating socially, which makes my extrovert self miserable. (Thank goodness for the phone chats and iMessage, or I'd be gibbering by now.)
Also, I know this is an unoriginal sentiment, but I'm so ready for this winter to be over so we can go outside and not have to literally hibernate any more.