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Monday, February 24, 2014

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Thanks for writing this!

May His grace empower you today. xo

I think spacing is more of an issue than raw numbers, also -- those families with seven or ten children may be having them every 2.5 years or so, which is a TOTALLY different ballgame from four in four and a half years! Mine so far have come every three years, which can be difficult -- jealous three-year-olds are no picnic to be around -- but it also meant that by the time my third baby was born, the oldest was old enough to really help, and to understand what was going on. And even with that, if I'd had twins I'd probably have barely kept it together.

That's fantastic that having a large family is at least somewhat mainstream by you. When I was pregnant with my *third*, I was getting all sorts of polite but vaguely pitying comments, as if I were on the verge of getting my own show on the Learning Channel. I know the large families are out there, because I see them going to the Latin Mass at the church down the block, but they're on the clannish side; homeschooling and skirts-only seem to be prerequisites for being spoken to. (Actually, their attitudes remind me a lot of Utah-born LDS, though I doubt they'd welcome the comparison).

You're right that it is SO complicated and personal, and what feels right one month might not feel right the next. I LOVE that you are okay saying no for now (or maybe forever) and that you are also okay saying maybe someday. Your family is super no matter what it looks like over the next decade.

(I am going to be a nanny-aunt starting in May and I feel you on the glad to snuggle a newborn and then glad to hand her back thing!)

Really nice, thoughtful post! I like the way you express it that you and Bryan pray and discern and then God has the final say. Such a nice way of explaining NFP to non-Catholics like me. :)

Hurray! So glad you are doing 7 x 7. I have missed hearing your voice.

I totally understand. The new-baby-every-2-years approach makes me hyperventilate. I'm so glad some families handle it with such grace. I do now appreciate that the 24 months splitting my first two means that they're interested in all the same things and entertain each other. My 3.5 year old has spent a lot of the past 6 months begging us to play with him, probably because he doesn't have a similar buddy. But having lots of littles at once was so hard for me. We'll have 4 years between #2 and #3 and again between #3 and #4 and who's to say when a possible #5 might come. It seems less scary now that #4 is on the way, but I'm definitely not someone expecting that #5 in 2016. Let's see how #4 folds into our family first and then pray once my cycles come back to choose wisely.

This is so refreshing, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I've had the luxury of having 3 older sisters start their families before me so I knew before having my own kid(s) that it's somewhat common to hit a wall when you're maxed out with several littles at home. But even with their perspective that they've shared with me, it's very easy to feel pressure from my Catholic peers to just procreate with reckless abandon. And you're right: some big Catholic families are so joyful and they're definitely living out their special call from God. But I just can't believe that everyone is called to have 6 or 10 kids, or that they have to be 1-2 years apart in age.

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