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Friday, April 19, 2013

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Love this: "They themselves are God's gift to me; their twinness is God's gift to them."
- mom of 20 mos twins (i was proud to make it 4.5 mos nursing - you are a f'ing gladiator!)

I love this. So much.

*whispers* This kind of makes me want twins. (NOOOOO.)

I can't believe they are almost two. Way to do it!

Love this. Especially as I question whether my babies are getting enough of me.

You are fantastic, Arwen.

Oh, this was lovely. I am reading this as my own 23 month old nursling is just waking up.

So SO beautiful.

I said this on Twitter, but I'll say it again - I loved this post so much, and as the mother of twins, I found it so very comforting.

Love this. Well done for nearly getting to 2! My twins are 4.5 and I can definately say that the first 2 years are the hardest. I had my twins first and have since had another baby (with one on the way!), and having a singleton after twins was a real eye opener. I loved being able to focus on one baby and it felt so easy and enjoyable to care for her, but it also was painful to realise what the twins missed out on. BUT they have each other; I love what you said about their twinness being God's gift to them. My twins are so close and have a special relationship that I think, as a non-twin, I will never fully understand.

I just took my twins in for their 11 year old check up. I cannot believe that they are more than a decade old. I can relate to the feeling of never being enough Mom for 2, and now I have 3 more. Some days there isn't enough of me to go around and I feel like I could throw in the towel. Other days, I feel like I have got it all under control and I could have one more! I will say this, my twins learned so much from having to share me from minute one that they are my most patient children. They are the most understanding and kind girls in their group of friends and the other parents always remark how helpful and kind my girls are, in comparison to their own 11year old girls. I am sure some of this is just their personalities, but there is a big part of it that is due to being twins. I may not be a perfect mom, but I am their perfect mom. Having lots of kids in a short amount of time is a wonderful, amazing and exhausting experience. But I cannot imagine it any other way. God bless you and yours.

Thank you so much for writing this, especially this part: "I don't think I have to love their twinness to love them." My twins just turned 1 and for the last year I've felt like the only twin mom in the world who doesn't say "I wouldn't have it any other way!" Rather, I've secretly wished I could have both boys exactly as they are, just a few years apart instead of at the same time. I know I'm supposed to say that twins are the best and I love being "doubly blessed" but I constantly feel like I'm not giving either of them enough attention and we're all suffering as a result. The good news is that we're just starting to see the beginnings of their twin relationship, which I have faith will be worth it in the end!

I loved this so much, Arwen. I'm always so surprised when I hear other women say they struggle to feel like they are enough for their children, because from my vantage, they (you) seem to do it so gracefully, while I feel like I'm floundering. It's funny how tough we are on ourselves, eh? I hope you know what an amazing job you are doing with all of your children.

I think some people are really into twins and others aren't. I am definitely not. When it comes to babies, early childhood (especially infancy) is a blur enough with just one baby. I can't even imagine how much more so with two. And this is coming from someone had a heartbreaking miscarriage of identical twins and would have done anything to save their lives. But I still understand that many people, if given the choice, would rather have their twins one at a time. During the 13 weeks of my twin pregnancy, I was very conflicted. After several years of infertility and one early miscarriage, I knew that my chances of having more than one child (or even just one) were slim. So the chance of having two at once was certainly a huge blessing despite my preference for having one at a time. But, my twins, like yours, were very high risk, and I agonized over the prospect of spending much of my maternity leave visiting my babies in the NICU, if they even made it to that stage (which they obviously didn't). You are so blessed that you had the best possible outcome of such a high-risk twin pregnancy. But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve empathy for the daunting task of raising twin infants plus two older kids, or empathy for the experience of leaving them in the NICU. I think you said in an earlier post that gratitude doesn't work very well if feelings of grief and loss go unacknowledged.

Babies are so all consuming when there is just one of them. I have seen you rock this twin thing. You have done great and will continue to do great.

Love this. You are an amazing mother and person. And the best part is, that even when you struggle, you use that to help and encourage others--thank you for that.

This brought a lump to my throat. Thank you for being real. And some of the things you said apply to ANY family with more than one child, though not to the same degree, perhaps. I was sad when my 2yo needed me, and even needed to nurse, but I had to care for her baby brother. I regretted the times I said, "Later," to one child, but never got back to him or her.
As much as I see that the best gift I can give my children is brothers and sisters, sometimes I grieve over what they don't get from ME. And, as you said, I have to trust that the good God who gave me these children is filling in the gaps. Blessings to you!

You are right, sister, you have completely nailed it! God definitely knew what He was doing and my sweet nephews have an amazing mom!!

I would have liked to do it. I will someday meet all my twin sets in heaven (3!). The one on earth misses her twin and asks about him often.Apparently God thought it would be more fun to try me with kiddos 7 months apart, and then 10 months. :)

Yes, you have nailed it! ;)

I love this post! I totally get what you're saying. Twins are hard. Sometimes nearly impossible. But it's oh so awesome in many ways. People ask, how do you do it? I don't know. I just do it. I'm their mom. And that's it. Hugs!

As a fellow mom of four (twins and two older) this had me sobbing! In a good way. :) I related to SO much. Feeling confident one minute, the next just utterly and completely broken and defeated. And the touching. The constant touching.

My twins are coming up on two (June 1) as well and like you, I can't quite believe it either. I feel like I was just patting myself on the back for making it through the first year! Time is both a wonderful and scary thing. For nearly two years it's been "the big kids" (now 5 and 7) and "the babies." But these babies will be kids soon and I marvel at the idea of four little people and how much (more!) fun we'll have.

Anyway, well done, mama. And thank you for being so honest. This twin thing: Beautiful and brutal, is what I say!

This is so beautiful, Arwen. It's lovely to see you writing again too. XO

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