Nausea also takes my title-writing skills

When I go back and check out my archives from early in my pregnancy with Camilla, I wonder why they're so sparse. I had no kids, no job, nothing to do but gestate and write in those days. Why didn't I write more?

But now that I'm gestating again, with a pregnancy that's similar to that first one, I remember. My pregnancy with Blaise was so mild compared to the all-day nausea that just makes me want to... well, to puke. Except that I really don't want to puke, because if I do I'll have eat again, and it's torturous to eat when absolutely nothing sounds good and I have to force myself to do it. Gross.

So yes, it's hard to find energy to write. Or to think of anything to write about except the pregnancy, because (as my friend Jen always says) pregnant women are the ultimate navel-gazers.

This baby, baby #3 for our family, will be due in June if all goes well. I was charting, so I'm fairly confident that the date of 40 weeks gestation is June 20th or 21st, which means the baby will probably be born in early June or (heaven forbid) late May. I'm thrilled to have a spring/summer baby because 1) I find everything easier to handle when we have 15 hours of daylight, and I'm sure that will apply to newborn fussy periods, and 2) there are so many fewer germs going around. I'd rather not have a newborn during RSV season again, thank you very much.

I find it, honestly, quite strange to be blogging about our THIRD baby when I started this blog as a way to work out my feelings about our quest for baby number one. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I'd known that this were the eventual end (or middle) of our family's story. But weirdly, I'm grateful for those years we waited - a lot of good ended up coming out of them.

The incredibly bizarre thing (for me) about this baby's conception was that it occurred in the VERY FIRST month during which we decided that we no longer had a good reason to wait. When I got pregnant with Camilla we'd been begging for a baby for years. When I got pregnant with Blaise we'd been praying for months that God would send us another baby "in his perfect timing." When I got pregnant with this baby, our feeling leading up to it was a shrug and a "well, I guess there's no reason NOT to..."

Doesn't that sound glamorous? But sometimes that's what being open to life looks like. It's not pretty, but that doesn't make it any less good.

We were staying with David and Lauren and Miriel when we found out I was pregnant, right at the 4-week mark. They were all thrilled, which was great because it helped me to process my own feelings about the whole thing.

I was decidedly overwhelmed at first, and it took Lauren's gentle reason to talk me down and help me focus on the fact that the most important reality here is not months of discomfort or hours of labor or a year of adjusting to having yet another tiny person to care for: it's the tiny person himself.

After we have him, we'll never look back and wish he didn't exist. We'll be grateful that God took the window we allowed him and gave us such an incredible gift.

(I love Lauren. Thank goodness for her.)

And the truth is, we have the necessary resources to care for this baby. We'll lose some free time and squeeze the budget a little (we have to buy a van now!) but it will be very much worth it.

We're having a third baby. What joy.

Comments

[Sonetka]

Oh my goodness, congratulations! Yes, it has been a while since the early days, hasn't it - I wonder what our past selves would say if they could have gotten a preview of life now. And yes, I remember wondering the exact same thing after I had my eldest; "I had so much time, why didn't I write more?" Then I got pregnant with V. and I remembered :).

Good luck to all of you and I hope this baby has mercy on your system! (It WILL have a D-name, right? :))

[Celeste]

Congratulations! I stumbled on your tweets the other day and couldn't believe it. I hope this will be an easy pregnancy and another good birth.

I had a May baby, and besides the germ factor, it's also nice because you're never pregnant in the heat and tiny babies are easier to transport in nice weather. It's also a lovely pregnancy experience to give birth just as everything outdoors is blooming. But I digress. I'm so happy for you!!!

[Brooke]

Congratulations!

You can probably fit three carseats in the car you have now, although you'd likely need to buy new seats. It's not necessarily easy, but it would be cheaper than a new car.

[T]

I stumbled across your blog when you first found out you were pregnant with Camilla. I am so excited for you and your new baby!

[Lisa]

Yay! What a blessing for your family!

[Robyn]

Congratulations! So excited for you and your family

[HereWeGoAJen]

Congratulations! I am looking forward to watching your family grow!

My vote is that this is the middle of the story, not the end!

[sarah]

Mazel Tov!

[Jordana]

Congratulations! It's very exciting to see you reach this point, having read your blog since (near) the beginning.

And, you know, you don't have to take the minivan plunge just yet. http://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-Kids-Radian65-Convertible-Granite/dp/B002OC72SU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1288389967&sr=8-1 We fit two of these puppies and an infant carseat across the backseat of a Civic. Tra la!

[Elsha]

Congratulations! I'm looking forward to hearing all your thoughts on third pregnancy and third baby!

[Lisa]

Congrats, Arwen! Very happy for you all!

[Michelle]

Congratulations! What wonderful news!!

[Slim]

Congratulations! Yay for babies!

Sorry about the nausea -- I am normally fascinated by food, and I hate the fact that pregnancy makes me spend weeks thinking that there is not one single thing I want to eat, and only a few I can manage.

But then later, baby! Yay for babies!

[sarah]

Arwen,
Many congratulations!
I first found your blog a few years ago (not even a mum myself, I was researching infertility for a course). Camilla was just wee, and I have truly enjoyed 'joining' you as your family has grown.
I'm thrilled for you all!
Sending love and prayers your way from Canada.
- sarah

[Shannon P.]

Wonderful!! a 3rd <3

We have 2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80 [up to 80 lbs.] car seats.. they're great-- narrow, made of steel not plastic, & keep my children in 5-point harnesses longer [before using boosters]. Definitely great for 3 in a row in many vehicles!!

[Lindsey]

Oh I know that feeling so well... all day long you feel like you will throw up any moment and at the same time you try so hard not to because you don't really fancy eating anything else lol.

[Andrea]

Congrats again! And it's true...while pregnancy and the thoughts of newborn time are overwhelming, that little self is worth it! Praying for you!

[Edie Mindell]

Yay!!! Congratulations!!! I was also having nausea the whole time when I was pregnant, and it could really paralyzed your work.:-) Well, I hope everything's gonna be alright. Congrats again.:-)

[Jen]

I found your blog when you has just had your first. I was blessed with my one miracle from God, and pray for more.

I'm thrilled for you!

[Kira]

Oh, what lovely news! Welcome to that spark of life in your belly, and may the nausea relent soon!

[Kylie]

I am so very glad for you! And just a little hopeful for myself. You see, you fell pregnant with Blaise whilst I was waiting (not very) patiently for our first child. He showed up a couple of months after Blaise and is an utter delight. I really enjoyed reading about your pregnancy with Blaise, knowing that I might experience what you were in only a few short weeks.

We are now waiting (again, not very patiently) for our second child. I pray that we don't have to wait too much longer, but amfinding the waiting much easier with a happy, busy toddler at home to keep us company. :-)

[Kristin]

Congratulations! =)

[Louise]

Congratulations my friend!!!

[Rebekah]

CONGRATULATIONS! Very exciting. Trust me, I understand the whole feeling-overwhelmed bit. When we found out we were pregnant this last time ... a pregnancy we'd definitely hoped for but had become resolved would probably never happen ... I was very happy, but there was also a lot of me that felt like, "What have we DONE?!". Like you said, you soon can't imagine your life without them. =)