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Monday, September 21, 2009

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Car accidents. And snakes. But mainly car accidents.

I'm not particularly afraid of my baby getting sick, but that is probably because she never has been sick. Perhaps I will change my mind when we experience it.

I'm petrified of spiders/bugs and heights.

I'm also scared of my kids getting sick. I'm the mom mumbling under my breath at the other mom for bringing her sick kid to a function. Because my kids will surely pick it up. And that usually means ear infections and doctor visits and antibiotics.

We also dealt with RSV when my ds was a year old. Actually he was sick on his first birthday. And he caught it while in the emergency room for croup. (Thanks mom that let her sick kid cough on my sick kid in the emergency room.) And now from November through April I'm tempted to stay inside and hide. I don't, but I'm tempted.

Taking them on a plane. I know in my head that it's probably the safest place they could be - much safer than a car, really - but I still get knots in my stomach at the thought. Probably because in a plane, I don't even have the illusion of control and know that any effort I make to protect them could be far outweighed by other things. It's a salutary reminder that I don't have nearly as much control over their safety as I'd like to think, but a little of that reminder is quite enough.

Like you, I fear my kids getting sick. I know that they are overall healthy kids, but when they get sick, it doesn't matter that it's "just a little cold" - they are totally miserable, and my days and nights are a misery until the kids feel better. And I have 4 kids, so you can bet they'll all catch whatever is going around. So I also grumble at the mother who brings her child to playgroup and says "he had a little fever last night, but he seems fine now". My baby was hospitalized with RSV in the spring, so that cemented my fear. We have friends whose only child is terminally ill, though, so I feel guilty and pathetic for fearing these childhood bugs.

And I'm also petrified of car accidents, I hate being in fast city traffic, especially if it's raining, and always fear driving in snow or icy conditions.

I've had two premature babies, so I'm afraid of my babies getting sick, too. I stop worrying entirely, though, when they get past age two. At that point their immune systems are up to speed and when they do get sick it is less disruptive to our nights.

I worry about vaccinations. I still have them vaccinated, but I worry and I'm afraid it's going to do them harm.

All the weird chemicals in EVERYTHING. I guess the best thing about being afraid of that is that there's no way to avoid it. We could go isolate ourselves in a cabin in the woods and be totally self-sufficient and we'd still be exposed to weird chemicals in the air and water. Since we can't avoid them I have to let it go. I still cringe, though, when she chews on her plastic, pvc-filled bath toy that she loves.

I have a pretty nonchalant view of germ exposure. I a friend tells me her kids have been sick, I don't reschedule. We get sick and we get through it and I know that God is in control of our health and it's good for us in some way or another to get sick.

I did, however, experience my pinnacle of fear a couple of weeks ago when my husband took me to the ER for appendicitis. I've never been in a hospital or had surgery before (my son was born at home) and I was very, very afraid. Terrified, in fact. I felt like a first-class wuss (story here: http://paintsplashes.blogspot.com/2009/09/weak-enough-to-be-strong.html) but I learned some things from it. I realized that God can use our fear to show His strength. I was nearly overcome with fear, but God sustained me and showed me that I have no strength of my own to get through any trial. Control is an illusion; God's strength in the face of our weakness is reality.

I'm not afraid of the colds...I know they are inevitable. But when our babysitting charge shows up with the sniffles, I have to steel myself against the suffering we will undoubtedly endure for the next two weeks or so. The last cold we all had was AWFUL! For us and for Olivia. But we survived, and I guess it's just a part of having kids.

You said it for me sister!

Car accidents. I always thought it was so silly when people stressed about people they knew who were travelling...not the case anymore.

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