My Photo
Blog powered by Typepad

« Twenty-Eight Weeks | Main | 101 Reasons I've Been Away »

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Maybe I'll be in the minority, but I don't think 24 is really young to have your first baby at all. Maybe that's b/c we know so many 18/19/20 year olds who are getting married and then have children a year or two after that. My Mom was 22, I think, when she had me and I definitely didn't feel like I was being raised by a yound mom at all! She was a pro, like you will be.

I definitely think that the age people start having children varies depending on where they live. Here in NYC, the norm is definitely to wait until after your 30 and your career is established, etc.

Interested to read what others have to say ...

I was going to say, if our great,great grandmothers could comment on this conversation they'd have themselves a good laugh at the idea of a young mother at 24!

Sadly, though, you are youngish in today's culture, especially up here---though the "natalist" movement among the young is getting strong, even up here in super rich, liberal Boston. I see a lot of younger looking couples with strollers and baby slings---I don't know if that is an extension of their age or the fashion to dress unbeliveably young and casual but it seems that way to me.

I still feel really wet behind the ears and I'm Jesus age (33) by now.

It's weird how that is, though. I'll feel like a young mother even though I'm certainly not.

My sister was 24 when my niece was born. She looked young. She worked at a mall and hear more than once people's cluck-clucking about "unwed teenage mothers." She would always tell them she was married and 24 and they would be flush faced and apologetic.

You are a novice as a first time mom no matter what your age. I don't think it's a really big deal.

The only issue you will find is how other people react to you. For yourself I can't imagine there will be any troubles. I am 24 and pregnant with #2. Most people assume it was unplanned, many "feel sorry" for me. And others believe it gives them the right to ask intrusive and personal questions. (Oh and yes I am married)

But aside from all that, it's fabulous.

Hi Arwen, I'm JenEx's younger sister and I really enjoy your blog. My first was born when I was 25 and we started trying when I was 23. I had a lot of the same issues you did in that they kept telling me I couldn't have fertility problems because I was so young, yet it took us two years and one miscarriage to be blessed with our little boy. In a lot of ways it was more frustrating because everyone was telling me it should be easy to get pregnant and yet it was so hard. Anyway, I was the youngest mom in our lamaze class and my mom told my that in 1979, when she was 27, she was the oldest mom in her childbirth class. Things have changed so much. My husband is ten years older than me so once in a while we do get some looks. He always jokes that people will think I'm his daughter but of course he doesn't look that old. I'm in a mother's group now and most of the moms are in their mid 30's. Once in a while I get a little bit of attitude from them for being from a different generation. But I think being a young mom is great because you need all the energy you can get. I hope to be done having kids by the time I'm 30. It's so much easier on your body when you are younger and there are way fewer complications. I wish you lots of luck with you new baby. My little boy just turned one year old last week and the time has just flown by but it has been the best year of my life.

I was 19 yrs old when I had my son. By the time I was 26 yrs old, I was a mother of four. WIth my son, everyone thought my mom was his mom and I had nothing in common with the other mom's when he went to preschool. Now with my youngest going into first grade, I find that I'm closer in age, although still younger than the other mom's.(I'm 32 now) Especially when I was younger, I wasn't taken seriously and I felt stranger's thought I was irresponsible. But...I have lots of energy and in my older kids eyes, it helps that I like their kind of music, etc.. I wouldn't have choosen to have my kids older although there's nothing wrong with that. Personally, I don't think age matters. Its all about the individual person and if they think they're ready.

When I was pregnant with my twins, I was 29, but looked about 18. I got looks and comments about unwed teenage moms ALL the time. I always felt uncomfortable, but still felt that their ignorance was their own problem - not mine. In terms of older vs. younger moms, I think there's more to it than just chronological age. Your attitude and personality are more important than the actual number. If you are a "get down on the floor and play" kind of mom, you'll generally be perceived as younger than a "put the kids in another room to play while you drink coffee" mom. (not that there is anything wrong with either kind - or the many other kinds of moms out there!)

I was 25 when I had my first and 27 when I had my second. I don't feel like I was that young of a mother at all. My mom was 22 when she had my sister and 23 when she had me. I don't look younger than I am, so I don't have the mother/father problem. My best friend is turning 30 this year and she looks 16 and people think that she is a teenage mother to her 5 year old and 3 month old.

I had my son at 26, am now 27 and often mistaken for younger, mostly because I still wear my hair loose and long. Honestly, it hasn't really been an issue, even with people who do think I'm a teenager, but a lot of this probably has to do with living in Utah, where it's common to see very young-looking mothers toting three or four children around! With my husband's university friends (who tend to be a bit older, around 29-30, and most are childless - they're outside the "Utah ethos") they seem to regard our (comparative) youth as being rather cute. So, um, I guess the moral is that if people give you hard time for looking too young, move to Utah - you won't get a second glance :).

I just spent the day with my 24-year-old sister-in-law who is pregnant with #2. I think of her and my brother as being so incredibly young, but they're not, really. Especially in their suburban military community where everyone they know is in their early twenties and married and toting babies around, just like them. In my urban career-oriented community, I sometimes still feel young to be MARRIED. My best friends are having their first babies at 28 and 30 and tell me I have tons of time at 27 (which, whatever, they did not try at ALL for their babies!) Plus my mom didn't have me, the oldest of five, until she was 29 and I expected I would do the same. As opposed to my SIL, whose mother had her at 19! I think it's all what you're used to...

I had my first child six months ago at the age of 31. We'd dealt with infertility for 5 years so if we hadn't, I wouldn't have been much older than you are now. But I was amazed at the various medical professionals I encountered who called me an older mom. Maybe it's because I don't feel "older", but that always took me aback. Maybe it's also because I frequent IF forums where more times than not I'm one of the younger people. It was weird anyway.

In my circle of friends and family, I guess you would be considered younger but not by much. My sister had her first at 25, my best friend at 27 but also because she dealt with IF for 6 years.

Hi Arwen

I’ve been reading your blog since at least a year ago, but I think this is the first time I’ve commented. I would never evermake a personal comments about or to a young mother (and if they’re married, I’m all for young motherhood, and the unmarried should be commended for not having abortions in the current climate), but I know I’ve thought things that were probably uncharitable, and I suppose I want to explain where some of it may be coming from. Mine is the too-common story of being caught up as a young woman in the modern culture-of-death with a ridiculously extended adolescence (it still feels like university was only a few years ago, I swear) and so forth… so I only came back to the Church in my early 30s and now I’m 39, TTC and it’s looking quite unlikely. 24-year-old moms look incredibly young to me and it’s hard not to be jealous.

Two of our friends in our parish are a really wonderful couple with ten kids. They’re only a few years older than my DH and me. The oldest children are in their early 20s, so we don’t see them as often, but last year one of the older boys was in church with a lovely young woman and I thought, “How sweet, he’s coming to church with his girlfriend”. When it came time to go up for Communion, she turned and I realised she was about 7-8 months pregnant, and I realised, wait, the boy must be the son who got married last year. I burst into tears on the spot. I don’t usually burst into tears when I see pregnant women, but in this case it was also the sudden shift of perception from “nice young people” to “this person whom I was thinking of as barely adult is grown-up in a way I’ll probably never be”…not to mention the fact that the couple that I tend to regard as contemporaries are not only parents to the nth degree, but grandparents.

Intellectually, I know that the tendency to think of 18-25-year-olds as “not adults” is a very unhealthy product of modern society (and even more so the tendency for some people to not be adults at that age – I certainly wasn’t). But emotionally it’s very difficult to overcome, and for some of us (like me) it’s tied up with regret in our own past.

When I was pregnant with my first at 24, I felt like a very young mother. I was the youngest person in my office and most women were waiting until their mid-30's to have kids. Once I had the baby, quit working, and began attending playgroups, I realized that the average first time mom was only about a year older than me. While working, I never saw the younger moms, only the ones who were still working and it was a very skewed perspective.

Now I have 2 kids and will be 28 soon and feel pretty average, except when compared to my own family (mom was 32 and 36 when hers were born, my sister and SIL's are 22/23/24 and nowhere near kids).

Back when I was a teenager and planning my life, I expected to have my first child by the time I was 25, if not slightly sooner. My own mother was 36 when she had me, but I had always understood that she started very late in life, and my plan was to start much earlier so as to have more kids. Obviously God had other plans (I turned 30 a month after my daughter was born), and now I feel like I'm pushing the line between young-mom and older-mom.

Incidentally, I had the reverse problem: when I was a teenager, people assumed I was at least in my early twenties. Old friends of my parents who hadn't seen me or my mom in a while would sometimes mistake me for her from a distance. Twice I was mistaken for the mother of my younger-by-3-years brother. Thankfully the trend hasn't continued: once I hit my mid-twenties I did, in fact, look my age, and these days when people guess my age they usually aren't far off.

I'm in CA, so it's strange here, but at 27, I was the youngest member of my playgroup by about 3 years. The oldest member had her second baby at 48!

You have a solid marriage and that's really the only thing that matters. And the younger you are, the more energy you'll have to chase your toddler around.

I think it really depends on the person. I would not have made a good mother in my early 20s ... I was wayyyy too immature. I'm having my first now (just turned 33). On the other hand, I look at my 18 year old stepdaughter and can totally see her as a mother in a few more years. She's just a different type, matured earlier. My mom had me when she was 31, and even my grandmother was 31 with her first, which was almost unheard of back then. So yes, it's all good if it works for you! :-)

First of all, it's really cool to know that you're only a few months older than me!

I had to wait a while for my baby. And I was only 22 when he was born, but many of my close friends had their first babies at 19 or 20. So, by the time i had my first, they had several (they're older than me, anyway) and I still feel way behind with my one to their 3,4, 5, 6 kids! But people think I'm so young to have a baby (eh-hem, toddler) and why did I "waste" my skills?

So now I'm praying for another baby, and reminding myself that in all likelyhood, I have many more fertile years ahead of me.

Conversely, my mom's 7 were spread over 19 years. Whenever, I, her oldest, was seen with my littlest brothers as babies, it was assumed by others that I was their mom (a teen-mom) and my mom was their grandma! They always asked my parents about their grandsons!

I was 25 when Lucy was born. I look young too, I guess, because I have people give me that "look", especially if I don't have my wedding ring on because I was washing dishes or something.

One time we were visiting a church and I dropped her off at the nursery...when I came back, everyone said, "How old ARE you? We were all trying to guess and guessed 19?!" What?

Hey, we'll enjoy it later.

I guess we have more energy being young moms?

Heck, I had my first child when I was 24...

I also had my first daughter at 24, and I didn't feel like a particularly young mom. However, when we took Andrea to her first picture session at about 6-7 weeks, my MIL was carrying her, and everyone assumed it was HER baby! I think that made her feel really good (she was about 53-54 at that time, but did look younger.) It didn't bother me nearly as much as it did my mother to be thought my grandmother(she was 44 when I was born). Enjoy having your baby at whatever age you are. I've been reading your blog for quite awhile now, and am thrilled for you and your husband. Blessings and prayers for all three of you.

I was 34 when I had #1, and that was planned -- for a lot of reasons, we didn't start before then and were fortunate enough to not have fertility issues. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to being a younger or older first-time mother, most of which are fairly obvious. For me, I think, having a child at 24 would have been too early (although I was 24 when my husband and I became a couple for good) -- for others, clearly, that's not too early at all. And, it might make you laugh to know that even at 34 I was hyper-vigilant about never going out without my wedding ring when I was pregnant, lest someone doubt my marital status (this is particularly silly because my POV on this personally is quite liberal), similar to you wondering if someone is assuming you're a pregnant teenager.

My husband's parents were 20 when he was born -- he was a surprise baby. She has told me that in many ways, for her, it was a struggle because her husband was so immature when his first son was born. So I guess all of this is a long-winded way of saying that maturity is what matters, age much less so.

I turned 22 just three weeks after I had my first. By the time I was 28, I had three kids, and some girl (who was probably younger than me) came to the door, for some charity cause and asked to talk to MY parents. My oldest has been mistaken for my little brother, and horror of horrors, when I was 30 and pregnant with my fourth, I cut my hair all off short, went camping a couple of weeks later and someone mistook ME (pink flowered pants, 7 months preggo, barrette in hair and all) for my husband's teenaged SON!! ("You've got a nice strong boy there, to help you with the firewood.", that to my husband. To me: "Here," hands me some pamphlets, "take this for Pops.") But it's always nice to get ID'd when you're 30, by "kids" who are younger than you...

Seriously though, I love being a young mom, you definitely do have more energy, plus I think there is probably less of a generation gap. A lot of my friends were all pregnant with their firsts along with me. And I always love to shock people who see me with my fifth (he's 8 months tommorrow), they always assume he's my first (if I'm alone with him) and I always get a reaction out of them when I say, no, he's my fifth.

Hi Arwen! Long time lurker here. I found you back when you were still Elizabeth :) I kept reading since I realized I had a fair amount in common with you- young and look younger, married, infertile, serious Christian, live in Michigan, etc. Anyways... I got pregnant about 2 weeks after you did. So of course I keep reading with great interest about your pregnancy! Ok, enough intro...

I laughed when I read your post. Ha ha ha ha ha. See, once upon a time in high school I had a summer job in which I knocked on doors and attempted to sell things. There was at least one time when I made the horrible mistake of asking the lady of the house if her mother was home. It did not go over well...
And then years later when I am all grown up I am repaid. Some middle schooler comes to my door selling cookie dough and asks for my mom or dad. Hee hee hee.

I have nothing to say about the young mom stuff. I will read the other comments with great interest :)

Your story is funny because the EXACT same thing happened to me a couple years ago. A lady asked if my mom or dad was home and then proceeded to spray everything in sight with the cleaner she was selling. She even licked it to show how non-toxic it was. Maybe they think that this is some type of selling point, with flattery and all?

Anywho...I am 27 and just had my first and I definitely feel like a young mom. Most of the women the new mom class I go to are a couple years older than me. Although some are close in age. I think today's women are having children so much later than they used to.

Either way, age is just a number in this circumstance. You'll be a great mom no matter what age!!

This actually happens to people??? (WAAAAH!)

I seriously think solicitors were asking me to make decisions when I was 12. I've always looked old. And now I...AM.

*depressed*

I had my first little guy at 20 (almost 21), and my second at 22 (almost 23). We had been married since I was 18, and actually had two miscarriages before having my first son, so this child was very much planned and wanted. I remember when extreamly pregnant with my first son and my fingers were swollen (I developed pre-eclampsia) and I had to take off my wedding ring, and dh and I were in the grocery store (doctor allowed one last trip before I was sentanced to bedrest the last 8 weeks of the pregnancy) and an older woman passed me by, looked at dh and me, and then my stomach and sighed and rolled her eyes very obviously. It was wonderful *sarcastic*. I can't imagine being that rude to someone you don't even know!
Now though, mostly what I get is "I can't believe you are that young - you and your husband are wonderful parents!!". Okay, I know it's a compliment and I suppose I should just smile and accept it, but after hearing it over and over, my brain is shouting "WHY CAN'T YOUNG PARENTS BE GREAT?!?". I mean it's like I'm a great parent 'in spite of'..... Sometimes i feel like saying right back "Well, I think you're a great parent even though you are old". No one would EVER say that, so why harp on age to someone younger??
I think there are upsides and downsides to having children at any age.... my mom had us when she was young as well... She was 20 when she had me and I adored my childhood, and wanted to give my children what she gave me... she played outside in the sandbox with me, she would splash through mudpuddles with me, get right down on the ground and play barbies with me, set up the tent in the backyard and camp out with me, etc. Thngs that she was able to do more easily because she was younger (so not saying that older parents can't do that, but I think younger might be more prone to do it). When we were at the park the other day my son asked me to bury his feet in the sand, and I got right down in the sandbox, sat down, and buried them for him and you should have seen the other mothers looking at me, like I'd lost my brain. Another perk is that your children will have young grandparents, which means they will probably be around longer and able to do more things with them as well. I don't diss either side... younger, or older parenting, however I really wish ppl wouldn't judge us because we are young.

I think that, if judged by societal norms in the US, you are young to be a parent. But that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a bad one or that you're not responsible enough to do so. Many people equate youth with irresponsibility or a lack of maturity, and that's true enough (case in point: many of the people with whom I went to law school are older than both you and I, however they still spend their evenings getting wasted at bars and looking to score as often as possible). There are always exceptions, and you are one of them.

It's hard not to get offended when people assume you're much younger or less mature than you really are. My gynecologist said to me the other day, "You're a lawyer?!" I said, "Yes, for about a year now..." She said, "You are SO YOUNG." It was weird, but I knew what she was getting at. After all, I was born in the 80s and now I'm a professional; how fast time must fly!

I really think to someone from an older age group, those of us in our mid-twenties do look "so young." I think it's more of a comparison of where they were in their lives at that age to where we are now. In all our minds, I think we feel we look our age or old for our age. When we look back at a younger group, it can be sort of amazing to realize, "wow, I was that young once?" I do the same thing when I'm around teenagers. I always feel like they're WAY too young to be doing the same exact things I did at that age! I just turned 25 and baby number 1 is due any day now. I feel the same as several of you... I cannot stand to be out of the house without my wedding ring on!

I had a similar incident last year. We had a problem with our cable. When the guy came to the door, he asked me if my parents were home. I just looked him dead in the face and said, "yeah... I'm 24." He was really taken aback. What's funny is that when I opened the door, I was thinking, "How young is this guy? He looks WAY too young to be coming out to fix my cable." I guess we'd both sort of done the same thing. ;)

I had my three at 32, 33, and 36, having gotten married at 30. Lots of tradeoffs--younger means more physical energy (people in their 20s stay up all night b/c they want to!); older can mean more maturity, more stable partnership, finances, etc. (Obviously, Arwen, you're fine on all these fronts.)

With mine now 12, 10, and 8, I think of the other end of the story. Having mine "older" means by the time my youngest is 25 I'll be ... 61. Yikes! My friends who had theirs young will still be young-ish when their children have flown the next. But I had my 20s "free" of children and in my case marriage, and I had a blast in ways I value and wouldn't be nuts enough to indulge in during middle-age.

I had a baby face forever and I really resented it. I realise now that I wasted a lot of energy on worrying about appearing my age. Don't worry what others might think and stick up for yourself when necessary: I had a bank manager refuse a meeting with me to roll over my 401K because I was a teenager pulling a prank! I set him straight but I still get angry when I remember it. I wish I could let it go!

I'm 39 now - my kids are 7 and 5. I do wish I had been able to start earlier and I sure could use more energy!
As for the solicitors - my theory is - they are not invited, I don't know them, so they are trespassing. I have a locked storm door, so if I'm in a good mood I'll open the main door and find out who they are. If I'm not sure it's locked, I'll call out the nearby bay window. While I don't want to be unnecessarily rude, I just can't put the safety of my kids and home at risk. Plus, I dont' want to encourage door-to-doors - and we have very few, thankfully.

I had DD at 40 and was very fortunate to even have one child. I have a very youthful look and nobody could believe I was "SOOOOOO OLD". DD is 4 and I am always being asked if we are going to have more! I tell them I'm 44 and they look shocked.

My sister who is a year younger had her first child at 23. That one's in college now and her younger sister will join her next fall. So my DD is her aunt's "practice grandchild". LOL!

I think my sister had TONS more energy than I do for the job. I also have to believe there are advantages to being an older mom, financial being one, stability being another. Mostly I focus on having gratitude in my attitude, and being glad I got to have this sacred experience at all!!!!!!!!!!!

Among my friends in the large coastal city I live in 24 would have been considered very young to get married, never mind to have a baby. I got married at 26 and was the first of all my friends to do so. I'm 31 now and the majority of my friends are still single. Only 1 close friend has a child. No one I know was having babies (by choice at least) until their early 30's. But then again here a 2 bedroom starter home in a marginal up and comming neighborhood runs about half a million dollars and having 2 incomes is definitely the norm so understandably, getting to a place where you have the resources to comfortably add kids to the family takes longer than most parts of the country. It is one of the real sacrifices involved in living here. I hope to have my first sometime next year. I'll be 32.

I always thought that being a young mom would have some real advantages (especially if you ever consider going back to work. By the time your kids are in school you are only going to be in your early 30's, plenty of time to pursue higher education or establish a career if you choose.

I was a young mom, I had just turned 22 when I had my first child. I am 41 now and many of my friends have young children.
Being younger or older is a 50-50 thing. I know I had the energy then to deal with two toddlers. There is no way I could do it now. The other side of that coin is that I now have the patience and maturity to be a better mom than I was. My kids are great and we all turned out ok but, I think if I had waited a few more years I might have been able to knit both the patience and the energy. On the flip side, I am going to be one cool, hip, fabulous grandma when the time is right.

Good question!

I had always assumed that I would be a young mom, but alas, I find myself on a different path. Looking back at my journals from high school reminds me that I had my whole life mapped out:

Graduate college at 22, get married at the same time,
and have my first child at 24. I would have a baby every two years til I hit 30 or 32. I never could quite decide.

Pretty ironic since I am 28 and haven't made it to one child yet :-)

Hopefully I won't be "too mature" of a mom when the time comes, hopefully soon.
:-)

I have been both, the young mother and the old mother. I had my first daughter at 19 and my last daughter at 33. With my oldest daughter I was the "young mother" in her school years, right up to graduation, and now with my youngest daughter I am one of the "older mothers" in the class..it makes no difference...just be a good mother and no one will think anything of your age.

I had my first at age 20-- had THREE kids by the time I was 24. And now, at 39, I STILL have a little one, my 8th! People habitually think I am younger than I am, and are regularly blown away that I have an 18 year old, which is kind of fun. I have enjoyed my babies regardless of my age. As a young mom I wasn't quite as patient (though I don't have it mastered yet!) and I think back then I was in too much of a hurry for my kids to reach each new milestone. Now I know how fast kids grow and push them less to master new things, I think. But there are great things about being a mom at any age. I am sure you'll do great!

Mary, mom to 8

How I WISH that someone, anyone...would mistake me for the child of the family! Sadly there's no chance!

I was 23 with DS no.1 and I was asked all the time if I was the sitter! Didn't help that he is blond and blue eyed and I am a dark Italian :)

I love being a 'young' mom. We have 5 kids and I am 31. I have lots of energy and I also am able to gain lots of wisdom from the BTDT moms. Another advantage is that we were both young and newly married and not all set in our ways. Becoming parents is a monumental change and we were young enough to still be flexible and open. I know many friends whose marriages were put into crisis mode with the transition from just couplehood to parenthood.

I was 19 when I had my first one. The great thing about having kids at a young age is the fact that once they leave home at 18 you are still young enough to enjoy life again. Well, once you get over the nightmares, night sweats, and the tic in you left eye from raising kids.

At 49 I still don't know anything. This time, however, I keep my grandkids and I don't remember how I took care of more than one kid at a time. lol

Count me in with the "24 is not that young" group--I was married at 22 and had my first child (now 10) at 25. I have gotten a few comments about being a "child bride" and the baby of my group of friends, but it's all in good fun.

I have to say... not being a young Mom (or an old one yet for that matter) I think my Mom rocked as a young parent. She was 19 when she had me, been married for two years to my Dad, and did all sorts of cool things that I, at 26, have no energy to do with my friends kids! If I had had a choice ( which given my circumstances I get no choices except which expensive procedure do we start with?) I would have done the same thing. On the other hand, you should be responsible and be able to support yourself, and not pop out kids at 17, 18 or 19 just to keep Medicaid. Like my Mom says, "The kids these days" (Ack, she's not even 50 yet!).

up. date.

24's not scary-young at all. Now, granted, none of my friends had kids that young, and almost none got married that young. I chalked that up to living in the North East, but half my sister's friends (who at 25 is ten years younger than me) have gotten married right out of college, and one even has a baby (though the causality's reversed there).

Anyway, the part about this that has made me think is this. I work as a volunteer at a weeklong retreat camp for Catholic teenagers. This summer I met a girl, amazingly centered all things considered, whose mother was 14 when she was born. It illuminated for me that verse about the sins of the father being visited on the child, which mostly I've thought was cruel. How can you blame a child for something it never did? But now I see that this can be much more a practical consideration. This girl has spent her short life paying for mistakes made by her parents and grandparents. So whatever you fear other people might think when they look at you, I think you can be quite certain your child won't be overburdened by any catastrophic parental mistakes, and so can resign yourself to regular Mommy anxiety and skip the age-based worries. ;) My two cents.

I had my first 2 weeks after my 19th b-day. I was a freshman in college, my husband a soph/jr. I felt a little uncomfortable being the only pregnant one I knew of in my freshman class. But as time went on and my college friends saw the commitment my husband and I had to not using daycares or surrogate parents for her, the more esteem and respect they had for me. Now I'm 26 and have 3 kids and its so great. My metabolism is still working, so I don't have to worry about my figure as much. I do know that I had to grow up and get real quicker than those who put off children.

My current escape timeframe is age 43. Some women try to start having kids then and I wonder what have they been doing all their lives?

You have to be young to survive kids. Good Luck.

24 would be considered pretty young where I live. In my new mothers' group, I was on the young end at 34.

I personally was not ready for kids at 24, both because I was dating a string of jerks who would not have made good fathers and because I wasn't ready for the sacrifice and responsibility necessary to care for a child. But if I had been ready, I would have loved to be a younger mom. This gig requires a lot of energy and I have less and less of it as I get older!

P.S. Mariah, wow. That was an incredibly judgmental comment. Just because someone's life choices differ from yours doesn't make them wrong.

I was 21 when I had my first child (he is now 21, married and has a 6 month old baby).

I remember grandmother types coming out of the woodwork with advice, usually about the baby needing a hat. People of all ages telling us we were to young to be married with kids. All of my friends, with kids the same age, where at least 10 years older than me.

I used to have the attitudes that young mothers were better - never wanted to have children past 30, looking forward to empty nesting while I could still enjoy life and that energy was the most important asset to raising kids. I had my daughter at 24 and was done.

Than I came to my senses at 35, we now have two more sons, ages 7 and 5 and two more daughters, ages 2 and 7months. I thank God daily that he has blessed us with these four gifts. Parenting the second time around is awesome. A chance to correct your parenting style and do things different(make new mistakes).

Mom of 6 - Its crazy, its an adventure, and I have grown on a personal and spiritual level. No one is ready for kids (at any age) until they have them. Having kids young or old is wonderful period.

Now I only get attacked by the fertility police.

I loved all of your comments, but though a couple of people mentioned being a young mom (as young as 19 or so), I would like some advice from anyone at all who can offer it about being a young mom whose parents had their kids at a much older age.
For example, my boyfriend and I decided we didn't even want to wait until after our wedding (in about a year and a half) to start trying for kids. I'm all for it, but i'm slighty apprehensive since my parents had my brother at 28 and me at 30. And, I am 19! Big Difference! It's not that i need their "o.k", but I want their love and support even though it's much earlier than when they decided to have children. My boyfriend and I are very mature for our ages, but my parents keep pushing us to wait to have kids, but i feel in my heart that we are ready now. However, my boyfriend's parents had him and his sister at a VERY young age, so they understand and are supportive. I'm not sure how to deal with the fact that my family is SO old fashion and contstantly pushing us to wait. Can anyone help? thank you!!

I am a younger mother and I believe it is hard but it has been the greatest experience in my life having a son younger. I am 20 years old getting ready to turn 21 and if I didn't have a kid when I did I probably would have ruined my life. So I thank the lord for bringing me my precious angel down here to me to save me from doing something stupid.

i am 16 years old and just about to have my first baby does anyone have any tips tp offer me so i can be a good mom and give him everythingi didnt have.

i am 16 years old and just about to have my first baby does anyone have any tips tp offer me so i can be a good mom and give him everythingi didnt have.

I randomly came acoss your blog by doing searching. I had an awful experience at my sons 19 month checkup today where he saw a new doctor. I mentioned I have a 6 year old and am due in Jan 2009. She proceded to rudly ask in a not nice tone "and where's daddy"? At first I thought she meant is he deployed (he's in the military but as a reservist unless he's deployed). I said, "he's at work". She then says "where does he work?" and I said "Cablevision and the Army". and she said "where is he stationed?" I told her, "we arent stationed anywhere. We dont live on a base. He's not deployed, he's home but working". she had the nerve to say "oh, I was going to say, how did you get pregnant then". I was so furious but bit my tongue and didn't say anything. I wish I had. I look younger than I am but so what. I am almost 29, been married almost 6 1/2 years and yes have almost 3 kids. Some people assume I am a young, unwed, knocked up girl with kids. Even if I was, it's my business.

The comments to this entry are closed.