I'm well aware that hearing about other people's dreams is one of the most boring things going, and I don't think I've ever been guilty of talking about mine here. But the one I had when I was napping just now was so horrible, I just have to share it.
It was after the baby was born, apparently quite a few months after. Bryan came back from an outing with him (yes, him! make as much or as little of that as you will) to tell me that the government had taken the baby away from him because a woman had reported him for feeding the baby a tater tot in a restaurant. This was apparently an offense serious enough to justify having the baby removed from our home, and the authorities would hold onto our baby for up to 30 days while they investigated the incident.
My subconscious's ability to create strange legal scenarios aside, what was striking about this dream was how viscerally I reacted to having my baby taken away. I sobbed so hard in the dream that when I woke up, my chest was hurting. It took several minutes to shake off the horror, and half-an-hour later I'm still ready to cry thinking about it. They took my baby away. Even though I'm well aware it couldn't really happen like that.
So now I'm wondering: is that what motherhood feels like? That deep, that vulnerable, that real? I love this little one I'm carrying quite a lot already, but I'm expecting - especially from watching my sister with my new nephew - that I'll be much more aware of that love after he's born. But if what I was feeling in the dream was like reality, I've got no idea what I'm in for. (In a good way, of course.) Moms, clue me in here. Is that what it's like?
Incidentally, this is the first baby dream I've had since I got pregnant. I know lots of women dream about their in-utero kidlets all the time, but in the past five months I've never had a dream where we had a concrete baby. (Errr, a dream wherein our actual baby is a concrete reality, that is. A dream where we had a baby made of concrete - now THAT would be one weird dream!) So, um, I guess in a certain way it's good. I've been waiting for a baby dream and I finally had one! I just hope they're not all like this one.