Still alive, both of us!

Okay, so I’ve probably said this before (I don’t have the energy to trawl the archives and find out), but I should really get some sort of Worst Blogger Ever award. Seriously, what was I thinking, posting that tiny update and then disappearing for a week? I am bad.

Although actually, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking, maybe if I lie perfectly still and don’t move a single muscle, the food will stay down. Stay doooooown. Doooooooown.

I don’t so much have morning sickness as I have all-day sickness, which has caused my relationship with food, already less than picture-perfect (in my pre-pregnancy days I was known to express a wish for some sort of pill that would provide an entire day’s nourishment in one swallow, thus rendering eating unnecessary) to become pathological. I feel awful and food sounds horrible so I don’t want to eat, but I know that if I don’t eat I’ll just feel worse, so I must force myself to eat and…. you get the idea.

Not that I’m complaining, of course, especially not now that a new doctor-prescribed regimen has cut my nausea significantly and I’m feeling half-human again. I’m just explaining why I haven’t felt so much like writing.

Moving on: an update!

My first official OB appointment was this past Friday, March 10^th.  As you know, I’d already had two prior visits, but those were both with another doctor at the same practice who is apparently not as busy as my OB. The other doctor is nice, but she’s a bit scattered – I definitely wouldn’t want to have her in charge of this whole business. (“This whole business,” of course, means my pregnancy and the birth, but it still feels weird to say “pregnancy” in relation to myself, and the word “birth”? Forget about it – it’ll probably still feel weird when I’m actually in labor.)

My regular doctor is much more efficient. The other doctor was like, “Oh, you’re bleeding? Let’s do an ultrasound to see if things are okay” but, once she’d found that they were, had nothing else to offer. My doctor walked into the exam room, and within minutes he was saying, “This is more blood than I like to see. Let’s figure out what’s causing it.” Wand out, picture focused, and he was pointing at the clotting which is the cause of our problem.

Apparently it is not as bad as it could be: the clotting is below the embryonic sac, and will probably resolve itself nicely within the next few weeks. When women have clotting above the sac, the doctor says he generally gives them 50/50 odds, but for us he quoted them at 90/10, adding “we’ll just have to pray that other 10% away.” (Yes, it’s a Catholic practice – there are crucifixes in all the exam rooms.) Apparently when the clotting is above the sac, it can move one way or the other to get out, and one way is safe while the other will detach the placenta and sac and cause miscarriage. In our case, the only way we’ll have a problem is if the clotting moves itself up to cause that detachment, which is unlikely but possible.

Oddly enough, I’m feeling very calm about it. I know that one-in-ten means the odds of something going wrong are not exactly miniscule, and we’ve already turned up on the wrong side of some reproductive odds by taking two-and-a-half years to get pregnant at our ages. But I’ve got this peace anyway. It must be a gift, since I certainly didn’t create it for myself. 

Meanwhile, the doctor has put me on modified bed rest. He held up one hand, indicating pelvic rest, and the other, indicating full bed rest, and told me to picture myself somewhere between the two – I don’t have to be flat on my back but I’m not supposed to do anything that’s not absolutely necessary. It’s not the most fun thing ever, but obviously it’s well worth it for the sake of keeping Pāhoehoe alive. And hopefully it will just be for a few weeks, if all goes well and the clotting clears up as expected.

The doctor also gave me an official due date of October 24^th, which means that I am eight weeks today.

Eight weeks. It boggles the mind.

In the meantime, I’ve gotten several new comments while I’ve been writing this urging me to post, so I’m going to put this one up without further ado. And in the meantime you may assume, until the nausea dissipates, that no news is good news. 

Comments

[Julie O.]

Eight weeks?? Woo hoo! I was hoping that no news was good news, and was so glad to read this post. You're in our prayers!

[Hoo]

Ditto Woo-hoos!
I remember discovering that one of the worst feelings is being nauseous AND hungry at the same time!

I just started a new drug to try and stave off advancing Type II diabetes - and it's number one side-effect is~~~~Drum-roll: major nausea! I was acutally thinking about you because of that!

[Kate]

Yay! Glad to hear you're alive, well, and eight weeks along. Many prayers are with you pushing away the 10%. =)

[maricar]

Yay for eight weeks. I had all-day sickness all-pregnancy. It was my way of knowing my hormones were doing good. Hah. Wow I guess I was in the 50/50 odds with Malia then huh? The clots were everywhere. Let me know if you need advice on bedrest. I did it for 5 months, eek! Much prayers to you and the itty bitty. Please pray too that the two embryos that transferred this weekend stay put. :)

[Beth]

Don't scare us like that!!! So glad all is well.
Prayers,
Beth

[melissa]

I spent 5 months on bed rest with my first baby, and when I got really bored I taught myself to crochet and made baby afghans for my baby and for her cousin. It was a great way to pass the time, and she still sleeps with her afghan (she's now 16). I pray that God keeps you and your little one safe and well, and that your "morning" sickness soon passes.

[Donnie]

Ha! I too had "all-day sickness," and I can testify that it is rather taxing. Of course, I had your opposite problem- I generally LOVE food/eating, and really mourned feeling so anti-nourishment.

Many people will try to give you remedies- try them all, but don't expect ANY to work (that way if something does, you'll be pleasantly surprised). The one thing I can tell you:
It *does* pass. Eventually.

Good luck, and many congrats for your progress.
:)
-D.

PS: My m/s started to subside at about 13 weeks... my appetite didn't really come back until 16 weeks.

[Christina]

Your doctor rocks. He explained that waaay better than anyone ever explained it to me when it happened with my daughter. By the way, I took the "bed rest" thing to a huge extreme, spending the entire day on the sofa-bed, but it was only a month and so worth it when our beautiful baby girl was born (she's now 10!!). I did a LOT of reading that month. Anyway, so glad to hear things are going well and praying for you that the "morning" sickness goes away soon!

[Becki]

Thank you, dear Arwen, for writing; my blog is not named as it is for nothing. Not that I was actually worried about Pahoehoe, but I still like to hear that you are doing well. Nausea notwithstanding.

Your doctor sounds wonderful, kind and highly competent. I'm glad he believes in the power of prayer. We'll all be helping to fill that particular prescription.

[Naomi]

It's good to hear that you are in a good place right now. Being in a good mindset is so important, no matter what is happening physically.

[mary]

SO glad to hear all is well. A caring doctor, like you have, really makes all the difference in scary situations like this. I'm so glad you have him. Hang in there and take care of you and your little one.

[The Aitch]

Good news for the most part and thankfully a doctor that finds causes!

Assvice from me already. Please do not do any excercising. I can't remember if you're an excerciser or not, but excercising, even small bits like stair climbing or semi-long walks can exacerbate any clotting issues.

Other than that awesome, awesome awesome. Except for the nausea and vomiting. Did I tell you I threw up every single day for 38 weeks?? Sometimes 3 times a day?

Slurpees for breakfast help.

[Jules]

Both of you. :) This blog just makes me smile so much, to see God's blessings.

[Mrs. T]

That is great news. And it's great that you actually have a reason for the bleeding now, too. That has to be a little relief, although I'm sure it will be total relief when it's gone.Hopefully soon. Thinking of you and yours!

[Jen]

Arwen - wonderful news! It sounds like you have a fantastic doctor, which is awesome and will do so much to ease your mind. Take care. I am hoping your morning sickness (all day sickness) goes away soon!!!!

HUGS and God Bless, you and your husband and your baby bean are in my prayers.

[Emily]

Awesome news. Haven't been a reader for an extremely long time, but long enough to be really excited for you. I also love following you because our due dates are three days apart. :) Congratulations and best wishes!

[Ellen (a different one)]

Man, it is such a relief to hear from you, and to hear that all's well.
I wish I had something happy to tell you about morning sickness. It makes the first 14 weeks (or however long) feel like eternity. Unlike you, it's practically the only time I don't love food - I started refering to it as the pregnancy diet. I wish I was that disinterested in food the rest of the time! Anyway, I found that popsicles stayed down, too.

[Sharon]

:)
Glad to hear your update. (err, read...lol)
Pregnancy is such an amazing, annoying time! So good and so hard all at once.
You remain in our prayers. Babies are such a blessing and so worth it.

And I can relate to the Catholic dr. part.
I go to one, also- crucifixes in each room, my dr. has prayed with me, etc. NFP all the way- I am so happy you have that.

[Molly]

Terrific news, Arwen. I'll be thinking of you three.

[Jill]

I'm glad that your appointment went well and that your pregnancy is progressing right along. You and your baby are in my prayers.

[Ariella]

That is wonderful news, Arwen. Congratulations. :)

[Jennifer]

My prayer chain is including you and baby in a novena, so all we go well, surely. Enjoy the bed rest. You can think and absorb and adjust to the reality that you are now a mommy!

[Elena]

Glad all is well!

[Louise]

How awesome that your doctor prays with you! Thanks for the update.

[Sparki]

Re: nausea -- This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but I quelled nausea successfully with SALSA for three weeks with my middle child. I know, I know -- if you can't keep saltines down, how could you possibly eat tortilla chips loaded with sals? I have no idea, but it worked. For a while. (And I STILL have an aversion to saltines, even though that child is 3.5 years old!)

That was the kid with which I had the worst morning sickness, and I could literally only eat one food at a time for DAYS or even WEEKS. At one point, it was navel oranges. I had four a day, and I couldn't eat anything else. At the end of that week, I couldn't bear to look at them and had moved on to watermelon. I ate about a whole watermelon every day, and I couldn't eat anything else. For three or four days. After that -- don't even THINK about presenting me with watermelon, because I couldn't touch it and I moved on to grilled cheese sandwiches. And so on.

Give yourself permission to not make sense. If ANYthing sounds good -- even if you think it couldn't possibly be the right thing for you to eat -- go ahead and try it.

Also, sipping icey cold water all day long helped my stomach.

Oh, and prenatal vitamins made me sick, so the doc gave me permission to take two Flintstones chewables every day instead.

[Milenka]

I'm so glad the appointment went well, and I'll be sending out positive vibes for that 10% to go away.

[CinderBella]

PEANUT BUTTER!! Yup, took care of it. I ate it constantly. 21 years later, HE still does NOT like PB!! Congrats, it was sure to happen for you 2 youngsters!

[KrimoJo]

I just caught up on your blog - I haven't been reading blogs lately - CONGRATULATIONS!

I know what you're going through - I spotted for most of my first trimester with my pregnancy (especially scary after having a miscarriage) but my beautiful seven and a half week old baby is sleeping next to me right now, so it really can be ok, but I know the waiting is so hard and scary and emotionally draining.

I know your faith will help you get through this difficult time. I'm also glad to see you're able to be happy too.

Congratulations again!

[4tops]

Yet another woman saying she sooo knows what all day sickness is. Here's a prayer that it dissipates soon. And you know, you turn a real risk corner when you reach the 8 week mark. Odds get a lot better! It sure sounds as if you know the only real key is the Lord, and prayer. Stick to it, and when you feel too ill, and bad, or tired, know that this is why we are called to a fellowship. When one is down and needs prayer, another can step in the gap. You are being prayed for even if you can't muster it.

On another note, I've stopped by here because my husband and I have just entered the world of TTC. After 5 years of knowing we are DONE DONE DONE, with 3 beautiful and healthy children, who are 10, 8, and 5, we through out the BC 3 days ago. And while I have not suffered infertility, in my search for common ground on line with other women, planning, trying and in the early stages of pregnancy, I've found several sites, like yours, that may not mind if I lurk a bit, to soak up a bit of the excitement, as we are not informing "real life" friends or family yet. I hope it's OK that I check in here from time to time!

You seem so fresh faced, young. Are you still in your 20s? All of ours came between my being 25-30. I'm now 35. And a bit nervous about jumping in again! I thought getting started in parenting in our 20s was awesome. So blessings for you, your husband, and this little one. Thanks for sharing what you do.

[Katie Elrod]

Congratulations. I too have a long saga of infertility but had my first baby last fall.

Here is what helped me during some severe "morning" sickness. Protein/Carb combo. Stay away from carbs/sugar. I found if I ate, say baked potatoes with lots of cheese, every few hours I never got a debilitating nausea. It is when you avoid eating and then eat sorbet and watermelon that problems occur.

I will be praying!

[Danielle]

Longtime lurker just now de-lurking to say CONGRATULATIONS and I will be praying for you and your sweet little family. I am also an all-day sickness sufferer saying eat whatever in the world appeals to you, no matter how weird. I lived on Little Debbie swiss cake rolls through one first trimester- we were okay in the end. And make sure you drink- little sips of something. Weight gain is not important in those early weeks, but fluids are. So happpy for you! :)

[Isabel]

Awww...the all day sickness. I remember those days. Don't worry-it will pass. Hooray for babies!