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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

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I'd go for never too. It's funny how we each react with these scripts and fill in the other person's part for them. "Of course he meant [the thing that annoys me most in the whole world]" and let our own insecurities rule. People are funny, no? :)

I'd go for never too. It's funny/sad how we each react with these scripts and fill in the other person's part for them. "Of course he meant [the thing that annoys me most in the whole world]" and let our own insecurities rule. I hate to feel stupid or careless--inevitablilies of living so when I feel that way about what I've done I expect others to think it about me to and respond quite defensively. But even knowing that doesn't always help--ah the vicious cycle!!

Our fighting consists of me yelling and crying and my husband doing that thing he does. I chalk it up to maturity, old age and fear of his wife. I hope there are no more fights on your horizon.

Sounds veeeery familiar. For us it looks like this:

K: dear, could you do that thing I asked you to do?
L: (silence, guitar playing and/or computer solitaire)
K: I mean, it's not that urgent, I'd just like to know when it will be done?
L: I said I'd do it the first time you asked. You don't have to nag.
K: I'm not nagging! Why don't you just do the things I ask you to right away?
L: Well, I don't want to if you're going to nag at me!

Etc etc etc. Women hate to be ignored, men hate to be nagged. Fortunately, we don't have that conversation too often.

It was fun having you two over the other night. We shall have to do it again sometime. :-)

Ok, both your spat and Kate's sound eerily familiar. I guess they really can't do two things at once. :) And the funny thing is, I can go for months with the ignoring thing not bothering me and then all of a sudden it flares up just like it did for you two.

Oh, I can't stand that ignoring thing either!! I feel I have to compete for attention with my husband against the computer. I'll talk and talk and talk and then realize he hasn't heard a single word I've said.

It's a male thing for sure.

My husband cannot hear out of his right ear (a childhood illness caused the removal of pretty much everything before the inner ear), so unfortunately he has the perfect excuse for why he doesn't hear me. :)

Now, see, my husband listens to me, that is clear. However, what frequently happens as a result is that he'll stop me mid-sentence and basically tell me to stop talking, because I've said enough and he understands. I'm the first person to admit that I generally use far too many words to describe any given situation, and I will speak volumes to convey the same thing that my husband can convey in three sentences. But it really frustrates me that he won't let me finish what I want to say. I know that someone else could say what I'm saying in half the time, but *I* can't! I have a deep-seated drive to convey as much information as possible, and to just give the gist of what I'm thinking would leave out potentially vital fringe information. In fact, my husand and I have had at least two major misunderstandings precisely because I was trying to condense my words and only give him the gist (whereby he missed an important detail or two). So I feel justified in over-explaining, but he won't let me do it. Sigh. At least he listens.

Recently we had a misunderstanding of colossal proportions that went undisclosed for two whole months. At any time he could have exposed the misunderstanding by simply pointing out that he thought I was behaving unfairly, but nooooooo, instead he chose to suffer in martyr-like silence for two months because he'd assumed that I wouldn't listen to reason anyway. Thanks for the vote of confidence, dear. ;-) And yes, I love him very much anyway.

Hah! Mine goes back and forth between not listening (particularly if there is a tv on somewhere or he is doing something at the computer) and telling me that I'm over-explaining, enough, he's got it already. Best of both worlds. Er, not.

But it's good that you *can* sit down and talk about it even when you don't want to. Took M and I several years to get to that point. And I still want to whack him over the head several times a week.

Real-time blogging. I like that. Loved your blog! :)

I know that someday you and Michael will be parents. And your beautiful child or children will ignore you both on a regular basis, filling you with such rage that your eyeballs will constrict.

Unless you happen to be holding a Little Caesar's pizza, in which case said children will fling themselves at you and attach themselves to your skin like leeches.

Hope next Sunday is better for you.

I'm with you. I take never. Unfortunately, they do come and we just have to work through them. You all sound a lot like my DH and me.

Hope this weekend is spat-free!

wait, did you say, "cleaning out the fridge"? That alone would prompt me to give dh a free pass on ignoring me. really, cleaning out the fridge? I am impressed!

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