I read somewhere the results of a study which found that adopted children generally feel loved and accepted by their immediate adopted family, but often don’t make a connection with their extended adopted family. At the time, I didn’t think we’d ever need to adopt, so I filed it away under “Interesting, but Irrelevant.” This past weekend, I remembered it.
In recent months adoption has become a more real possibility for us. There are still a lot of things I’d like to try first, but if conception turns out to be impossible, we will adopt. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, but not actually talking about it with anyone but Bryan, which is why I was surprised to see this book, subtitled “Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption,” on my mom’s desk. I asked her jokingly if she and Dad were planning on adopting (they still have four kids under 18, so I doubt they’d have the energy for a new one) and she said, “Oh, no, I was just interested in knowing what adoptive parents go through.” I hugged her, filled with gratitude to have a mom who wants to understand the struggles of others.
I was even more grateful later, when she was reading the book. I’ve read enough about adoption in blogworld to know that some people are very insensitive about it, but my mom, bless her innocent little heart, apparently didn’t know. The book told of a grandmother who had a party for all her grandchildren, and didn’t invite the adopted ones. My mom was appalled; she had honestly not heard of anything like this before. I reluctantly disabused her, but I was also touched by her quick reaction. In her mind, it’s simple: adopted children are part of the family, just like biological ones.
This made me so happy, especially in light of the findings of that study. I have such a warm, open-hearted family – it thrills me to know that they would accept an adopted child just as lovingly as they would one I had given birth to. It makes the possibility of adoption that much more bearable for me.